Category: Faith

Perfect Love

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It’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air….or so they say. But just who is this “they” we are always talking about? According to 2012 statistics , they are the millions of people that will purchase Valentine cards this year. They are the people who will spend on average $126.03 per person this holiday (up 8.5% from last year). They are the ones that will collectively spend $4.1 billion on jewelry and $3.5 billion towards a romantic evening on the town. They are the 220,000 that is expected to give a wedding proposal today. They are the ones who will buy over 8 billion Sweethearts Conversation Hearts this year. And let’s not forget the ones who will spend $367 million on Valentine’s Day gifts for their pets this year. And the 15% of the estimated portion of women who will send themselves flowers. So I guess we could say that “love” is in the air, but probably a more accurate depiction would be that there is a shadow of love in the air.

Would you like the truth? What most people think of as love is not really love. Love has nothing to do with flowers, cards, or candy. Love is not about romantic nights out on the town. It’s not about jewelry or (I hate to say) chocolate. In fact, society, as a whole, does not even comprehend true love. They see a glimpse of it here and there but they do not know it and cannot show it to others. That is unless they know the author of love.

“Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love,” 1 John 4:7-8. Not only is love of God but God is love. You cannot know love unless you know God. Love is not only a general theme within the book of I John but also throughout the entire Bible. The greatest commandment of all is centered on love. (And let me be transparent for a moment; this commandment alone is enough to keep this child ever striving.) “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment,” Matthew 22:37-38.

We are to love God (Matthew 22:37).

We are to love our neighbors (Matthew 22:39).

Wives are to love their husbands and children (Titus 2:4).

Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25).

We are to even love our enemies (Matthew 5:44).

As believers in Christ we are to walk in love (Ephesians 5:2), be rooted and grounded in love (Ephesians 3:17), follow after love (I Timothy 6:11), and put on love (Colossians 3:12-14).

But in general the term love is abused and misused. Have you ever heard someone say that they “fell in love”? A person cannot “fall in love.” It was Voddie Baucham, author of Family Driven Faith, who clarified this in my mind. He explains that anything we fall into we can climb out of. (Think about that statement in light of the modern attack on biblical marriage and the disintegration of the family.) True love is not a feeling. True love is not an emotion. To borrow Dr. Baucham’s definition, “Love is an act of the will which is accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of its object.” This is a fabulous definition of love. Love is an act of the will. It is in our will that we choose to love. This would explain why we say that love comes from the heart. We will it. We choose it. But not only is love an act of the will but it is accompanied by emotion. True love is not void of or detached from emotion. When love is willed in our hearts emotion follows. This emotion leads to action towards its object. If it does not lead to action, it is not love. Just ask someone who is told that they are loved but never showed. This is why children of God are commanded in I John 3:18, “let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.”

The perfect example of true love (love that is willed, accompanied by emotion, and leads to action) is found in what God did for us by sending His Son to die on the cross for the sins of mankind.

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us,” Romans 5:8.

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends,” John 15:13.

We now know what love is because God revealed Himself to us. We love Him because He first loved us and only after perfect love is manifested to us can we show true love to others. You will never know love until you know God’s love. If you do not know Him, cry out, repent of your sins, and trust Him to save you. He’s waiting. If you do know God and His love make it a point to read the chapter on love today (I Corinthians 13). And live it out, because now you can.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

REF: 

Samantha Grossman, Valentine’s Day 2012, Time Newsfeed article, 2-13-2012,

Voddie Baucham, Family Driven Faith, pg 57, Crossway Books, IL 2007

Before & After

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This week I was introduced to Pinterest.  The amount of talent and creative ideas that flow through the minds of people just amaze me.  The home decorating pictures are my favorite and if they involve organization, even better.  I also love looking at before and after pictures, especially room makeovers.  While I am not typically a very imaginative person I do have a few before and after pictures to show of things our family has recently worked on.  Hope you enjoy them.

This is the boys’ room right after we moved here this last summer.  Notice anything missing?  That’s right.  They were without a bed.  So, Dana and Aaron worked on building them one.

It took just a couple of hours to build.  This is before we stained it.

Here is our after picture. We do not have it yet but plan on getting Andrew a twin trundle for underneath the bed.

My mother gave me this bedroom suite.  It was a little old fashioned for Abigail.

 So, a few hours later and a little black paint it was as good as new.

This is a picture of her desk before.

Here it is after….

This lemonade stand was given to our church.  My husband decided that we could turn it into a coffee bar.

A new counter top, some paint, and a lot of help transformed a lemonade stand into this.

Don’t you just love before and after pictures.

I believe the most beautiful transformation is a before and after picture of salvation.  Take a look at what the Bible says about mankind before God intervenes.

As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one. Their throat is an open sepulchre; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips: Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness: Their feet are swift to shed blood: Destruction and misery are in their ways: And the way of peace have they not known: There is no fear of God before their eyes. (Rom 3:10-18)

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom 5:8)

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. (2Co 5:17)

(BEFORE)

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you…

(AFTER)

…but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.   (1Co 6:9-11)

 

Do you have a before and after picture?

The Decline of our Churches

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My husband and I attended our National Mission’s Symposium last week.  The conference was sobering in that we were shown the stark reality of the state of our Baptist work.  Memberships and baptisms are diminishing.  Giving is down.   Disciples are not being reproduced; therefore, churches are not being reproduced.  And the work of the ministry has been relegated to a select few.  It appears that for far too long there has been a pragmatic view of what the church is and has become.  Unfortunately due to this, as a whole, we have moved from the New Testament model of the ekklesia to a more traditional approach of “church” that is less biblical but much more comfortable.  In this move, the preeminence of Christ and His Word is disregarded.  The preaching and teaching ministry becomes irrelevant.  And emotions, feelings, and personal preferences are elevated over absolute truth.

While the decline in numbers is startling, too often it is the only focus.  This can be very dangerous because it does lead to that pragmatic view.  We become more intentional in doing what works than what is right.  The success of a church should never be judged by numbers alone.  There are many large churches that are weak and unhealthy.   The characteristics of a weak congregation is one that is full of professing Christians who have a “form of godliness but deny the power thereof.”  What power are they denying?  They are denying the power of the Word of God to work in their life, (I Thessalonians 2:13).   They are denying the power of Christ to crucify the old man, (Romans 6:6).   They are denying the power of God to keep them from practicing a lifestyle of sin (I John 3:9). They are denying the power of the Holy Ghost to teach them spiritual things, (I Corinthians 2:10-13).  This is evident by their lifestyle.

What should be done?  We must first cast off the idea of easy-believism.  The wide spread teaching of this false doctrine is a major cause for a great deal of the “lukewarmness” we see today (Revelations 3:16).

Then we need to recognize that it is God that adds to His church.

“And I say also ….I will build my church,” Matthew 16:18.

“ the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved,” Act 2:47.

“And believers were the more added to the Lord, multitudes both of men and women,” Act 5:14.                    

“ and much people was added unto the Lord,” Act 11:24.

When the Word of God permeates the church and indwells in the hearts and minds of believers something amazing happens.  Believers begin to live transformed lives and all of a sudden the world takes notice.  However, when the world looks into a powerless church and sees no difference in them and their own life, the Word of God is blasphemed (Read Titus 2:1-10).

And it is imperative that we are mission minded.  The mission is clear.  We are to go, teach, baptize, and disciple (Matthew 28:19-20).  There was a great focus on reaching out and making disciples at our Missions Symposium.  I agree.  We need to do this.  But one of the greatest missed opportunities is often in our own homes.  The only way we are going to have strong churches is to have strong families.  The local assembly is a family of families. This discipleship falls to the Christian parents.  We have an awesome responsibility to disciple our own children, one on one, training them in the ways of the Lord. So many times the attitude is that it is the churches duty to disciple our children. I know this because I have talked with many parents who when complaining about the lack of spirituality in their children say, “I brought them to church every time the doors were open.”  Bringing children to church is not discipleship.

I love the fact that we are missionary focused.  I’m thrilled that we are concerned with church plants and reproducing disciples.  But I rarely see a focus on the families that make up a church.  Where is the teaching to parents on how to teach their own children the Bible?  Where is the teaching to fathers on how to spiritually lead their families? (When was the last time someone taught the father how to lead a time of worship with his family in what use to be called the family altar? Have we forgotten that we are to worship daily?  Sunday is just the day we have set aside for corporate worship.) Where is the teaching to women on their biblical role in the family?  It’s great that we have youth ministers that can reach our teens on their own level, but are we teaching them to turn their hearts to their fathers and mothers?  If we want to have a strong, healthy, biblical church we need to have strong, healthy, biblical families.

New Website!

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Most of you know that I have been working diligently to finish up my fourth book (and 3rd in the Living Out the Word series).  Lord willing, LOVE: a verse by verse study for women through the epistles of John will be completed by March 2012.  Please keep me in your prayers as I strive to meet this goal. 

The new website, www.livingouttheword.net,  is devoted just to the Living Out the Word series.  I would love for you to stop by and check it out!

Blessings,

Kimberly

The Most Dangerous Lie

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 Lies, falsehoods, errors, deceit, dishonesty, fraud, deception – no matter what it is called, it is still the antithesis of truth.  It is also more prevalent than truth.  More taught than truth.  And more loved than truth.  And let’s not forget how exceedingly dangerous a lie is.  One would think that the further way from the truth a lie is the more of a beast it becomes.  But this is not necessarily so.  Others have said that the most dangerous lie is the one closest to the truth.  With this I would have to agree.  Judge for yourself, which poison is more deadly, the one clearly marked or the one masquerading as healing medicine?

There are a lot of lies masquerading as truth.  That is why believers are told in I John 4:1, “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.”

 Not every spirit is of God. The Bible speaks of evil, unclean, dumb, foul, and deaf spirits.  It tells of the spirit of infirmity, spirit of divination, spirit of bondage, spirit of the world, spirit that “worketh in the children of disobedience,” spirit of antichrist, and the spirit of error.  The children of Israel were warned of false prophets who do not follow after the Spirit of God but follow their own spirit.  Son of man, prophesy against the prophets of Israel that prophesy, and say thou unto them that prophesy out of their own hearts, Hear ye the word of the LORD; Thus saith the Lord GOD; Woe unto the foolish prophets, that follow their own spirit, and have seen nothing!” Ezekiel 13:2-3.

A false spirit produces false teachers that fabricate false doctrine. “…many false prophets are gone out into the world.”   Over and over in the New Testament we are warned of these men and their teaching.  See Matthew 7:15, Matthew 24:4-5, Matthew 24:23-24, Luke 21:8, Acts 20:29-30, Romans 16:18, 2 Corinthians 11:13, Galatians 1:9, Ephesians 4:14, Philippians 3:18-19, I Timothy 4:1, 2 Timothy 2:17-18, Titus 1:10-11, 2 Peter 2:1, 2 John 1:7, 10, Jude 1:4, and Revelations 2:2 just for starters.

We are not to believe them all but to try them.  To try the spirits means to test or prove them.  “Prove all things; hold fast that which is good,” 1 Thessalonians 5:21.  There are two ways to test a spirit.  The first is by the Word of God.  The believers in Berea were nobler than the ones in Thessalonica because they “searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so,” Act 17:11. If a doctrine does not line up with Scripture it is wrong.  The Spirit of God will never contradict the Word of God.  This is very important.  Let me say that again, the Spirit of God will NEVER contradict the Word of God.   I heard a female preacher/pastor on the radio one day defending her “call” into the ministry.  Another pastor, disputing with her, kept bringing up the Scriptures.  Quoting Paul he would say that a woman was not to teach or usurp the authority of a man within the church.  This lady responded with the notion that we are led by the spirit and are not under the law.  At that point, the host of the program even erroneously contended that the ‘words in red’ are more important than Paul’s writings.”

Read Jesus’ words (in red).  “Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come. He shall glorify me: for he shall receive of mine, and shall shew it unto you,” John 16:13-14.

To recognize truth we must understand that the Spirit will never supersede the written word.  Just as Christ came to do the will of the Father and glorify Him, the Spirit will point people to Christ and glorify Him.  John 1:1 tells us that Jesus is the Word of God.  Revelations 19:13 tells us that “The Word of God” is His very name.  We also know that “all scripture is given by inspiration of God,” 2 Timothy 3:16.  To say that the Spirit would lead us or teach us something contrary to Jesus Christ (The Word) is untrue.  The Spirit did not call this woman to be a pastor because that contradicts the Word.  (Read I Timothy 2:11-12.)

So the first way to test if something is true is by the Word of God.  But Jesus said there was another way in which we can test the spirit of false prophets?  “Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them,” Matthew 7:20.    You cannot separate a man’s personal life from his ministry.  Does his life line up with what he is teaching?  The same can be asked of women.  Friends, be careful when getting advice from others.  You need to make sure that what they say is first biblical and second that their life demonstrates good works.  “Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom,” James 3:13.

If the Spirit of God dwells in you, by knowing the Word of God and examining fruits, you can test the spirits to see if they are truly of God. God has given the believer the spirit of discernment. “God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.” 1 Corinthians 2:10.  Do not fall for lies that hinder your spiritual growth, there are many out there.  And remember, the most dangerous ones are the ones closest to the truth.

(Taken from Living Out the Word: Love, A verse by verse study for women through the Epistles of John by Kimberly Williams.  Coming soon – Spring 2012!)   

Procrastination

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 “I’m not waiting until the first of the year,” I told my husband.  “I’m going to stop eating sugar today.  There is no point in putting it off.”  In January of this year I decided to go on a sugar fast.  It lasted over 10 months.  During that time I felt better and lost over 40 pounds.  But somewhere along November I began to eat a little here and a little there.  With the holidays I rationalized that it would be better to just wait until after the New Year to start the sugar fast again.  But the truth is that a person can rationalize anything.  Dana and I had just gotten back from the gym.  We were sitting down eating breakfast when it hit me.  Why wait until the first of the year?  Why put it off?   The longer I wait the harder it will be.

Procrastination is a killer.  How much time has been wasted by procrastinating?  Our time is extremely valuable and in the words of Benjamin Franklin, “You may delay, but time will not.”  The psalmist prayed, “Teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom,” Psalm 90:12. A wise person will realize that time is short and our days are limited; therefore there is no time to waste.  James puts it like this, “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away,” James 4:14.

 I would say that we all have areas in our life that need addressing.  And quite frankly, the physical is easier to work on than the spiritual. It is much easier to quit sugar than it is to quit worrying.  It is easier to go to the gym than it is to go out and witness to my neighbors.  It is easier to spend hours organizing my home than it is to spend hours in prayer.  While the physical might be easier, the spiritual is so much more valuable.  (Read I Timothy 4:8.)  The problem is in our “want-to”.  Peter Marshall once alleged, “Most of us know perfectly well what we ought to do; our trouble is that we do not want to do it.”  I’m afraid that is all too true.  There are bad habits in my life that I need to quit.  And there are good things that I need to be doing.  For a child of God this is called sanctification. And the repercussion of not doing it is called sin. “Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin,” James 4:17.

 Are there things in your life that you have been putting off?  Have you been procrastinating within your Christian walk? Can you afford to delay any longer? Has time been wasting?  Have opportunities been lost this year?  Is there an area in your life that you can improve on?  I know that I can and I pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to gently nudge me toward holiness.

Commit with me to not procrastinate any longer.  Stop dragging your feet; instead consider taking a few of these practical steps toward spiritual growth.

  •   Commit to daily verse by verse Bible study (Isaiah 28:9-10)
  •   Get involved in ministry and work in a local church (Ephesians 3:21)
  •   Joyfully serve your family (Proverbs 31:27)
  •   Be more of an encourager to others (I Thessalonians 5:11)
  •   Memorize Scripture (Psalms 119:11)
  •   Sacrificially give more (2 Corinthians 9:7)
  •   Ask forgiveness and make amends with someone (Matthew 5:23-24)
  •   Spend more time in prayer (I Thessalonians 5:17)
  •   Witness and share your testimony more (Matthew 28:19-20)

This list is not exclusive.  Much more could be added to it.  Just be sure you do not make the mistake of thinking that it must all be done at once.  Pick an area in your life that you have been procrastinating in and work on that.  It takes one step at a time.  I often remind my children of these principles.

  •  You eat an elephant one bite at a time.
  •  You become a millionaire one dollar at a time.
  •  You form a habit one day at a time.
  •  You climb a tower one step at a time.
  •  You change the world one person at a time.

It won’t be easy but living the abundant life is not about easy.  Vance Havner reminds us that, “Taking it easy is often the prelude to backsliding. Comfort precedes collapse.”  So dear Christian friend, what are you waiting for?

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way,” Psalm 37:23.

I’m Going to the Gym

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We are all aware that regular exercise is vital and essential for a healthy lifestyle.  Exercise supports physical and mental well being.  In addition to having better health, working out increases your energy level and reduces stress.  It’s important.  But let’s be honest…Who has the time?  Are we not busy enough?  On an average day my to-do-list is a mile long and I’m sure you are no different.  But there comes a time when you realize the benefits far outweigh the inconvenience and decide to make it a priority.  Dana and I came to that conclusion.  We signed up for a gym membership and have been faithfully (for the most part) going together each morning at 5 a.m.  My first goal was to make it a habit by going for 21 days.  Now that I have met this goal I am working on increasing my stamina.  I am walking on the treadmill for three miles and, in addition, every other day I use the machines to tone various muscles.

While exercise has value there is a truth to it.  I Timothy 4:8 states that “bodily exercise profiteth little.”  Exercise does profit, but only for a short duration.  If I stop going to the gym tomorrow, all the work that I have done up until now will be lost.  And even if I continue to exercise my entire life, the advantage I gain from it is for this life only.  There is no eternal compensation for physical exercise.  However, for the Christian there is an exercise that is profitable in all ways. 

“…exercise thyself rather unto godliness. For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come,” 1 Timothy 4:7-8.  Training ourselves in godliness will be beneficial in this world and the one to come.  Therefore, it seems to me that while I should continue to go to the gym each day, this spiritual exercise should be more of a priority in my life.

What does exercising unto godliness look like?  First, I Timothy 2:10 tells me how I should adorn myself as a Christian woman. “But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”  Therefore, doing good works is a part of godliness.  This takes practice (training, exercise).  It takes a consistent effort (workout).  And it takes a child of God, with knowledge of God, to have the power to live with godliness.  “According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue,” 2 Peter 1:3.  We also are told that it is a process.  Just as becoming strong takes physical exercise, godliness takes diligent work step by step.  “And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness,” 2 Peter 1:5-6. 

I use to believe that going to the gym was just for those who were already fit and trim.  However, this is not the case.  While several of the people at the gym are in excellent shape, there are those there who are in terrible shape.  But they are striving nonetheless.  There is also a misconception that it is impossible to live godly in today’s world.   In truth, it is for the unbeliever, but for a child of God this is not true.  “For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ,” Titus 2:11-13.  We will not attain perfectly but we should be striving.  Why?  Because when we exercise unto godliness it is profitable for this life and in the one to come.

Lord, You know my heart’s desire to strive in my daily walk, to reach forth and press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling. Lord, help me to remember these truths, meditate upon them, and work them out in my life.  Help me to profess godliness and adorn myself with good works every day of my life.

Thanks-living

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 To write it down for the world to see, To speak of Your wondrous love,

How can I thank you for blessing me? For sending a Saviour from above?

Thank you God for having a plan, A sacrifice, a cross, a grave.

Thank you Lord for redeeming man, Without Christ who can be saved?

But because He rose victorious, abundant life I now will live.

Grace and love abounds glorious, which daily Lord you freely give.

To give thanks only one day a year, seems contrary to say the least,

For You my God are very near, not just during Thanksgiving feast.

Instead I’ll live a life of thanks-living, all year acknowledging how you bless.

And just one day set aside, for complaints and unthankfulness.

Nurturing Your Marriage – Part Two

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Recognizing Your Role

The first key to nurturing your marriage is recognizing your role as wife.  Modern society and the feminist agenda whisper lies into the ears of many Christian women.  One very subtle lie is that marriage is a corporate merger.  The idea is that you will bring in your career, assets, goals, and hobbies into the marriage and I’ll bring in my career, assets, goals, and hobbies and we’ll merge the two together.  What it looks like played out is the husband goes one way and the wife another.  They have two separate visions with two separate goals.  This idea is secular and worldly
and it destroys many marriages.

The biblical role of the wife is to be the help meet to her husband.  We are shown God’s perfect plan for marriage in Genesis chapter two.  When Adam is created God places him in the garden and gives him a job to do and a law to keep.  Adam was to work and tend to the garden.   But he needed help. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him,” Genesis 2:18.  God did not created Adam and Eve together.  He created Adam, set him on his path, and then created Eve to come along side him to help accomplish all that he had set out to do.

Today, we see a different take on marriage.  It seems oppressive to say a wife’s job is to help her husband with his career, plans, goals, and dreams.  She should be seeking her own heart’s desire.  He should respect her need to be independent and they should both give and take in the marriage vision.  While that might sound good and noble, it is a distorted view of biblical marriage.  (Remember, marriage is for the saved.  God ordained marriage and the unregenerate cannot achieve marriage as He intended.  They do not know true love and they certainly cannot follow the mandates of Scripture.)  Here is what often happens in today’s society.  A husband has a vision and goes to work.  But, due to materialistically enslaving ourselves with homes, cars, and consumer debt, we are told that both husband and wife must bring in an income in order to survive.
So the wife becomes career focused and goes out into the world and works for another man or woman.  She spends her life building up the empire of another person.  She has taken on man’s curse to work by “the sweat of thy face.” She comes home over worked and exhausted, having no energy for her husband and her family.  She is no longer “husband focused”.  Because she is sharing in his role of providing, he now has
to step in and partner with his wife in tending to the children, managing the home, cleaning house, doing chores, etc.  While some Christian women willingly choose this way of life, I believe that deep down most women resent it.  I lay this problem mostly at the husband’s feet.  He should recognize his role as provider.  Unfortunately for them, most men have never been taught this.

Biblical marriage looks a little different.  The husband takes the responsibility to provide for his family. The wife comes along side to help him fulfill his goals.  Now, it might be that for a season she works for another in order to help her husband do this.  I am not implying this is wrong.  In no way am I saying that it is a sin for a Christian woman to work outside the home. (I will, however, say in confidence that it is God’s plan for mothers to be at home with their babies and young children and for her life to be centered on the home. Read Titus 2 and Proverbs 31.)  Her priority in life should be to help her husband achieve his goals.

Why would I as a Christian wife go out into this world and spend all my talents, time, and energy building up the kingdom of another man by working for him?   I would much rather spend my talents, time, and energy building up my husband’s kingdom.  When his kingdom is built, so is mine!   If we would step back and honestly look, we would see that most of society at best does not understand biblical marriage and at worse views biblical marriage in disdain.  Let me give you an example.  The other day my husband was talking to man at our church and turned to me and said, “We are going to have dinner up here Friday night at 7 p.m.  Please take care of that.”  I said, “Sure, no problem.”  Later the comment was made that this man felt sorry for me because my husband told me what to do and I had to do it.   Let me ask this.  If I worked as a secretary for another man and he turned to me one day and said, “We need a meal catered in for a board meeting, take care of it” would people feel sorry for me?  I don’t think so.  The thought would be that it is my job to do as I’m told.  But for some reason when a wife takes her role as “help meet” seriously it is perplexing to people.  Sadly, I believe it is partly due to the fact that biblical marriage is just not taught to Christians anymore.

Now, I realize that this article is addressing homeschooling mothers.  Most of them do have lives that are centered on the home.  However, it should be noted that just because you are not out in the world building up another’s kingdom, does not automatically mean that you are building up your husband’s kingdom.  Are you the help meet God intended?  Do you use your time and talents to help your husband achieve his goals?
Do you use your energy to further his kingdom?  Are you investing in the things that your husband wants you to invest in?  Are his plans for life your plans?  Or, are you both trying to achieve two separate goals in life?  Are you moving in two separate directions?  These are important questions to ask.

One of my favorite scriptures in Proverbs is, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands,” Proverbs
14:1.  In order to build my house I must recognize my husband’s needs.  Automatically society will say, “No, no, no, you need to worry about
your own needs.”  But, a true understanding of “two becoming one” (Genesis 2:24) is that when I meet my husband’s needs, I am meeting mine.  Husbands have three basic needs – respect, sex, and food.  All of them are scriptural.  Ephesians 5:33 says, “see that she reverence her husband.”  This is the number one need of a husband.  Whether or not a man deserves respect is not the issue.  It is the position of husband that deserves respect. It is no different than respecting those in authority, like the president, because of their position.  The second need is sex.  Sex is only for marriage and by God’s design the wife is the only one that fulfills this need in her husband.  I Corinthians 7:3-5 explains this and the importance of it.  My husband will encourage husbands to give their wives 5 to 6 “non-sexual” hugs a day.  Women are built to need that.  But let me encourage women.  Your husband needs 1 sexual hug a day.  It truly makes for a great marriage.  The third basic need husbands have is
food.  They need it to survive.  I Corinthians 7:34 says, “she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”  A husband that has respect, sex, and good food will be a blessed man indeed.  It will be easy to love and provide for a wife who joyfully meets all of these needs.

Part three in nurturing your marriage will address the second key– Having Clear Priorities.

Stop Calling It Church

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churchWhat do you think of when you hear the word church?

Perhaps you think of a religious building, worship service, denomination, or even all Christians.  However, this is not the correct meaning of the word.  In our church you will often hear the phrase, “The church is a people not a place.”  Where do we get this?  Actually, it is from the definition of the Greek word used for church, “ekklesia” (pronounced “ek-klay-sea’-ah”).  The word means a called-out assembly or congregation.   In older translations, like the Tyndale English Bible, you cannot even find the word “church”.  The word ekklesia is correctly translated as “congregation or assembly”.   Ekklesia is used 115 times in the New Testament and in most modern Bibles it is always translated as “church” except in Acts 19:32, 39, and 41 where it is properly translated as “assembly”.

So, what’s the big deal? Why does it matter?  It matters because a misunderstanding of the “church” has far reaching implications.  For example, there are those who claim that the church is all the saved.  However, if you use “ekklesia” and its correct definition of “called out assembly” what you are saying is that all the saved is an assembly that is called out.  Contextually “ekklesia” in the New Testament is a local and visible assembly of believers who congregate for a specific purpose.  The universal church is neither local nor visible and in order to be an assembly you have to be both.  So, if you want a name for all the saved, call them the family of God as stated in Ephesians 3:15, “Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named.”  A church must be local, visible, and assembled. Anything else is not a church.

We do see all the saved referred to universally in Revelations 21:9 as the “bride of Christ”.  However, it is interesting to note that at this time the rapture has occurred and all the saved are local, visible, and assembled together.

Another reason it matters is because when people misunderstand the true meaning of the word “church”, they misapply the practices of it.  An example would be “home church”.  While I understand the reason behind this movement it is still built on a cracked foundation.  You can read about that here. Those that “home church” gather the family, read scripture, pray, and sing songs of worship.  In truth, they are doing what God commands the family to do.  He does expect the father to lead his family spiritually.  This practice is what the older generations called a “Family Altar”.  This should be done daily.  But don’t call it “church”.  It is not the assembly.  Every Christian family should worship daily and then, throughout the week, gather with other like-minded believers for corporate worship. “Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”  (Heb 10:23-25) 

The practices of the local assembly do not work within a single family
unit.   For example, church discipline as commanded in scripture is impossible in a single family unit.  In a “home”  setting the Pastoral Epistles that Paul wrote become unnecessary.  Church ordinances such as baptism and communion are not individual ordinances and the word “fellowship” assumes a gathering or congregation. In addition, the roles of men and women within the assembly (as found in I Timothy) would not apply either. However, in scripture we do see a family of families assembling together as a local unit.  This is necessary to fulfill the role of the ekklesia.

Words do matter.  The study of words in the Bible is foundational to accurate exegesis.  Let’s be true to the word “ekklesia” and use it correctly.