Nurturing Your Marriage – Part Two

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Recognizing Your Role

The first key to nurturing your marriage is recognizing your role as wife.  Modern society and the feminist agenda whisper lies into the ears of many Christian women.  One very subtle lie is that marriage is a corporate merger.  The idea is that you will bring in your career, assets, goals, and hobbies into the marriage and I’ll bring in my career, assets, goals, and hobbies and we’ll merge the two together.  What it looks like played out is the husband goes one way and the wife another.  They have two separate visions with two separate goals.  This idea is secular and worldly
and it destroys many marriages.

The biblical role of the wife is to be the help meet to her husband.  We are shown God’s perfect plan for marriage in Genesis chapter two.  When Adam is created God places him in the garden and gives him a job to do and a law to keep.  Adam was to work and tend to the garden.   But he needed help. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him,” Genesis 2:18.  God did not created Adam and Eve together.  He created Adam, set him on his path, and then created Eve to come along side him to help accomplish all that he had set out to do.

Today, we see a different take on marriage.  It seems oppressive to say a wife’s job is to help her husband with his career, plans, goals, and dreams.  She should be seeking her own heart’s desire.  He should respect her need to be independent and they should both give and take in the marriage vision.  While that might sound good and noble, it is a distorted view of biblical marriage.  (Remember, marriage is for the saved.  God ordained marriage and the unregenerate cannot achieve marriage as He intended.  They do not know true love and they certainly cannot follow the mandates of Scripture.)  Here is what often happens in today’s society.  A husband has a vision and goes to work.  But, due to materialistically enslaving ourselves with homes, cars, and consumer debt, we are told that both husband and wife must bring in an income in order to survive.
So the wife becomes career focused and goes out into the world and works for another man or woman.  She spends her life building up the empire of another person.  She has taken on man’s curse to work by “the sweat of thy face.” She comes home over worked and exhausted, having no energy for her husband and her family.  She is no longer “husband focused”.  Because she is sharing in his role of providing, he now has
to step in and partner with his wife in tending to the children, managing the home, cleaning house, doing chores, etc.  While some Christian women willingly choose this way of life, I believe that deep down most women resent it.  I lay this problem mostly at the husband’s feet.  He should recognize his role as provider.  Unfortunately for them, most men have never been taught this.

Biblical marriage looks a little different.  The husband takes the responsibility to provide for his family. The wife comes along side to help him fulfill his goals.  Now, it might be that for a season she works for another in order to help her husband do this.  I am not implying this is wrong.  In no way am I saying that it is a sin for a Christian woman to work outside the home. (I will, however, say in confidence that it is God’s plan for mothers to be at home with their babies and young children and for her life to be centered on the home. Read Titus 2 and Proverbs 31.)  Her priority in life should be to help her husband achieve his goals.

Why would I as a Christian wife go out into this world and spend all my talents, time, and energy building up the kingdom of another man by working for him?   I would much rather spend my talents, time, and energy building up my husband’s kingdom.  When his kingdom is built, so is mine!   If we would step back and honestly look, we would see that most of society at best does not understand biblical marriage and at worse views biblical marriage in disdain.  Let me give you an example.  The other day my husband was talking to man at our church and turned to me and said, “We are going to have dinner up here Friday night at 7 p.m.  Please take care of that.”  I said, “Sure, no problem.”  Later the comment was made that this man felt sorry for me because my husband told me what to do and I had to do it.   Let me ask this.  If I worked as a secretary for another man and he turned to me one day and said, “We need a meal catered in for a board meeting, take care of it” would people feel sorry for me?  I don’t think so.  The thought would be that it is my job to do as I’m told.  But for some reason when a wife takes her role as “help meet” seriously it is perplexing to people.  Sadly, I believe it is partly due to the fact that biblical marriage is just not taught to Christians anymore.

Now, I realize that this article is addressing homeschooling mothers.  Most of them do have lives that are centered on the home.  However, it should be noted that just because you are not out in the world building up another’s kingdom, does not automatically mean that you are building up your husband’s kingdom.  Are you the help meet God intended?  Do you use your time and talents to help your husband achieve his goals?
Do you use your energy to further his kingdom?  Are you investing in the things that your husband wants you to invest in?  Are his plans for life your plans?  Or, are you both trying to achieve two separate goals in life?  Are you moving in two separate directions?  These are important questions to ask.

One of my favorite scriptures in Proverbs is, “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands,” Proverbs
14:1.  In order to build my house I must recognize my husband’s needs.  Automatically society will say, “No, no, no, you need to worry about
your own needs.”  But, a true understanding of “two becoming one” (Genesis 2:24) is that when I meet my husband’s needs, I am meeting mine.  Husbands have three basic needs – respect, sex, and food.  All of them are scriptural.  Ephesians 5:33 says, “see that she reverence her husband.”  This is the number one need of a husband.  Whether or not a man deserves respect is not the issue.  It is the position of husband that deserves respect. It is no different than respecting those in authority, like the president, because of their position.  The second need is sex.  Sex is only for marriage and by God’s design the wife is the only one that fulfills this need in her husband.  I Corinthians 7:3-5 explains this and the importance of it.  My husband will encourage husbands to give their wives 5 to 6 “non-sexual” hugs a day.  Women are built to need that.  But let me encourage women.  Your husband needs 1 sexual hug a day.  It truly makes for a great marriage.  The third basic need husbands have is
food.  They need it to survive.  I Corinthians 7:34 says, “she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.”  A husband that has respect, sex, and good food will be a blessed man indeed.  It will be easy to love and provide for a wife who joyfully meets all of these needs.

Part three in nurturing your marriage will address the second key– Having Clear Priorities.

Stop Calling It Church

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churchWhat do you think of when you hear the word church?

Perhaps you think of a religious building, worship service, denomination, or even all Christians.  However, this is not the correct meaning of the word.  In our church you will often hear the phrase, “The church is a people not a place.”  Where do we get this?  Actually, it is from the definition of the Greek word used for church, “ekklesia” (pronounced “ek-klay-sea’-ah”).  The word means a called-out assembly or congregation.   In older translations, like the Tyndale English Bible, you cannot even find the word “church”.  The word ekklesia is correctly translated as “congregation or assembly”.   Ekklesia is used 115 times in the New Testament and in most modern Bibles it is always translated as “church” except in Acts 19:32, 39, and 41 where it is properly translated as “assembly”.

So, what’s the big deal? Why does it matter?  It matters because a misunderstanding of the “church” has far reaching implications.  For example, there are those who claim that the church is all the saved.  However, if you use “ekklesia” and its correct definition of “called out assembly” what you are saying is that all the saved is an assembly that is called out.  Contextually “ekklesia” in the New Testament is a local and visible assembly of believers who congregate for a specific purpose.  The universal church is neither local nor visible and in order to be an assembly you have to be both.  So, if you want a name for all the saved, call them the family of God as stated in Ephesians 3:15, “Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named.”  A church must be local, visible, and assembled. Anything else is not a church.

We do see all the saved referred to universally in Revelations 21:9 as the “bride of Christ”.  However, it is interesting to note that at this time the rapture has occurred and all the saved are local, visible, and assembled together.

Another reason it matters is because when people misunderstand the true meaning of the word “church”, they misapply the practices of it.  An example would be “home church”.  While I understand the reason behind this movement it is still built on a cracked foundation.  You can read about that here. Those that “home church” gather the family, read scripture, pray, and sing songs of worship.  In truth, they are doing what God commands the family to do.  He does expect the father to lead his family spiritually.  This practice is what the older generations called a “Family Altar”.  This should be done daily.  But don’t call it “church”.  It is not the assembly.  Every Christian family should worship daily and then, throughout the week, gather with other like-minded believers for corporate worship. “Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”  (Heb 10:23-25) 

The practices of the local assembly do not work within a single family
unit.   For example, church discipline as commanded in scripture is impossible in a single family unit.  In a “home”  setting the Pastoral Epistles that Paul wrote become unnecessary.  Church ordinances such as baptism and communion are not individual ordinances and the word “fellowship” assumes a gathering or congregation. In addition, the roles of men and women within the assembly (as found in I Timothy) would not apply either. However, in scripture we do see a family of families assembling together as a local unit.  This is necessary to fulfill the role of the ekklesia.

Words do matter.  The study of words in the Bible is foundational to accurate exegesis.  Let’s be true to the word “ekklesia” and use it correctly.

Something Big is Coming!

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Don’t you want to know the REAL truth about a product before you spend your
money? Too many times I have bought books and curriculum on a whim to later regret the decision.  I want to know what other homeschooling parents think.  Is it all it’s cut out to be?  Does it work with their children?  Is it worth the money?

I’m excited to share with my homeschooling friends a new review site that I have had the privilege to work on.   I am inviting you to the beta launch of a new revolutionary homeschool site.  It is your one-stop destination for curriculum, book, product, and media reviews.  Besides the numerous reviews on the site now, over a dozen will be added each week.  This is a project of Home Educating Family (publishers of Home Educating Family magazine and Well Planned Day Planners).

Go to http://www.homeschoolconvention.com/reviews to check out this site, get the latest reviews, and leave comments.

This is also a part of a larger BIG thing coming to homeschooling this spring:  www.homeschoolconvention.com.  You will not want to miss it!

The Christmas Lodge

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Christmas is certainly my favorite time of the year. The birth of Christ is on the forefront of people’s thoughts. Family gatherings often become priority. Mankind is more giving. The air is filled with excitement and laughter. Songs are sung that exalt our Most High God and speak of His gift to the world. And people’s hearts are warmed by a spirit of love, joy, and peace. Then you have the warm fires, hot chocolate, decorations, lights, falling snow, extraordinary food, friends, family, parties and celebrations.

We are still two months away from Christmas and I do not like celebrating too early. In fact, I have a “No Christmas music until after Thanksgiving!” rule in my home. However, the children and I watched Thomas Kindake’s Christmas Lodge this week. It was cold out so we lit a fire, popped some popcorn, and cuddled up in the living room together. We all enjoyed the movie and definitely were put in the Christmas mood. I was impressed with all the references to Jesus and faith in Him. The importance of family was certainly emphasized. And overall it was just a warm, feel-good movie.

Synopsis from the website:   Thomas Kinkade presents Christmas Lodge…a place where a heart-warming past and loving future meet for one remarkable group of people. During a weekend trip to the mountains, Mary (Erin Karpluk) finds herself at the now run-down lodge where she spent the holidays with her family growing up. She becomes determined to restore the building to its former glory. Inspired by her grandfather and guided by her grandmother in heaven, Mary throws herself into the project, and during the process finds herself drawn to Jack (Michael Shanks), a handsome man who loves the lodge as much as she does. Historically unlucky in love, this chance encounter allows Mary to renew her faith in life and discover her one true love. For an uplifting story about the importance of faith, family and the true holiday spirit, go to the Christmas Lodge.

If you are looking for a great Christmas film to watch with the family, check out the trailer here. I have one copy of the Christmas Lodge DVD to give away. Just leave comment telling me your favorite holiday tradition and I’ll draw a name on November 7th and have it sent to you.

“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” Luke 2:11-14

 

Disclaimer: I received Christmas Lodge to review in exchange for an honest product review. I do not receive any other form of compensation for the reviews posted on this blog.

The Submissive Husband

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Is your husband submissive? Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? I believe that every wife wants a submissive husband. I know that I do and I’m thankful for mine. While society likes to think of it as such, submission is not an ugly term. However, before the feminist get too excited, let me clarify that I am not talking about some distorted view of manhood and marriage. As a woman, let me say that there is nothing more appalling than a weak and fragile, “Yes Dear, whatever you say” type of husband. Men are designed to be men. They are created to be leaders. Simplistic, I know, but so true. So, what I am talking about is a husband who is submissive to biblical authority.

Authority is a large part of everyone’s life. We are always under some type of authority. Children must learn to submit to the authority of their parents. Wives must learn to submit to the authority of their own husbands. Husbands must learn to submit to the authority in the workplace, church authority, and governmental authority. All believers must submit to God’s authority. Even unbelievers will one day submit. “For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God,” Romans 14:11. (Sadly, by the time an unbeliever learns to submit to God’s absolute authority it will be too late for them.)

Submission is a reality of life. It is one that has been under attack since the beginning of time. Today we see unnecessary heartache because of the lack of understanding of biblical authority. There are miserable parents who have failed to teach this truth to their children and who are reaping the consequences. The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. (Pro 29:15) There are husbands and wives who are struggling in their marriage because they have never been taught proper authority or have simply chosen to ignore it. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Eph 5:24-25) There are churches that are spiritually dying due to sin in the camp and a refusal to lovingly establish the authority of church discipline. Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump? Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened… (1Co 5:6-7a) There are pastors who struggle in leadership because they have not taught their flock to “obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you,” Hebrews 13:17. Untold numbers of boys and girls live in daily turmoil at home, in school, and with society because no one taught them the truth. Thousands of men and women are in prison today because they did not submit to proper authority. Do you see the importance of biblical authority?

For the believer in Christ, submission is essential. James 4:7 says to, “Submit yourselves therefore to God.” It is through submission to Christ, as Lord and Master, that we are saved. As a Christian wife, Ephesians 5:24 states that your submission to your husband beautifully illustrates the submission of the church to Christ. When we as believers fail to submit to our husband we demonstrate to the world a distorted and pathetic portrait of Christ and His holy bride. This is one of the reasons that having a husband that is submissive to Christ is so important. Christian wives must submit to their husband in order to be obedient to the Lord. The command to submit is not circumstantial. As stated in I Peter 3:1, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.” However, it is a lot easier to submit to a husband who is submitting to Christ and following Him.

Is your husband submissive? I hope so. It makes for a glorious marriage. If not, Christian wife, keep praying for your husband. Love him and still submit to him. Win him over with your lifestyle. Have a quiet and meek spirit. Let him see your loving heart and good works. And watch and see what the Lord will do in your marriage!

“For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.”(2Ch 16:9)

Keeping up with the Joneses

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It is easy to say that we are not striving to keep up with everyone around us, but a simple look at the average person’s lifestyle says otherwise.  While the saying might just be an idiom, to fail to “keep up with the Joneses” is perceived in our culture as demonstrating socioeconomic inferiority.  We are content with our current cell phone until our neighbor gets a smart phone.  We are content with our paid for used car until our friends buy new ones.  We are content with our modest home until a family member moves into a nicer neighborhood than ours.  What is it about “the Joneses” that stir our hearts toward discontentment?

As a believer in Christ I am told in scripture that I brought nothing into the world and that I will certainly take nothing out (I Timothy 6:7).  I am reminded that if I have food and clothing I should be content (I Timothy 6:8).  I am warned to not covet other’s things and to be content with what things God has given me (Hebrews 13:5).
Therefore, it would seem that contentment would be easy for a Christian, but that is not always the case.  It helps to realize that material things and stuff can be very deceiving.  The fact is that Americans are in debt.  We are not buying newer and better things because we have more money.  Living a facade, we are simply buying stuff and going deeper in debt.  From 1997 to 2007, America’s credit card debt
balances increased 75%.  In 2010, the US census bureau reported that US citizens have over $886 billion in credit card debt and that figure was expected to rise to $1.177 trillion by the end of the year.  The report stated that each card holder had an average credit card debt of $5,100 and that number was projected to reach $6,500 by the end of the year.  We are not as prosperous as we look.  According to the Wall Street Journal 70% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck and the Department of Commerce says that the US savings rate is (negative)  -.6%.  I heard Dave Ramsey say on the radio the other day that “normal is broke!”

So the question is, Do I really want to keep up with the Joneses? Do I really want to be “normal” according to society?

Let’s be realistic, some might say.  We live in this world.  We are a part of this world.  This world and its things are a reality that we must deal with.  All of this is true.  We do live in this world.  The Bible says that there are cares of this world (Mark 4:19).  There is also a wisdom that is of this world (I Corinthians 3:19).  There is a course that people follow in this world (Ephesians 2:2).  And there is a god of this world (2 Corinthians 4:4).  But the Bible also says that the “cares of this world” causes us to become unfruitful.  The “wisdom of this world” is foolishness with God.  The “course of this world” works in the children of disobedience. And the “god of this world” blinds the minds of people who do not believe.  This is why we are told in Romans 12:2 to “be not conformed to this world”.

So whether we are talking about conforming to the “Joneses” materialistically or conforming to the “Joneses” physically or conforming to the “Joneses” mentally, we should not desire to keep up with them.  A Christian should not be “normal”.  We should be a peculiar people, set apart, and not conformed to this world and its way of thinking.  Instead “be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God,” Romans 12:2.

Furious

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Jeremy Riddle just released his 3rd full length album from Vineyard Music called “Furious”.  It is an interesting title for a worship album.  The word conjures in most people’s mind the thought of extreme anger.  However, this is not the thought of the artist.  Jeremy says, “It is hard to come up with words that depict the magnitude of Christ’s love – the depth and width of it…I see it as a super-power force; stronger, deeper, broader than our vocabulary can fully describe.”  When you listen to the song it’s easy to understand what it’s all about.

His love is deep, His love is wide
And it covers us
His love is fierce, His love is strong
It is furious
His love is sweet, His love is wild
And its waking hearts to life

The Father loves and sends His son
The Son lays down His life for all
He lavishes His love upon us
He calls us now, His sons and daughters
He’s reaching out…

Other titles in this album are “Love Came Down”, “You are Good”, “Lord my Shepherd”.  I love the lyrics to “One Thirst”.

Come teach us Lord, reveal Your ways,
Anoint us for, the greater things, greater things
Our single wish, our sole desire
To gaze upon, Your beauty God
We will not rest, nor will we cease
Till with our eyes, Your face we see
We wait for you to come and show
Your glory here today. We wait for you…

Visit www.jeremyriddle.net to listen to these songs.  They will encourage you in your faith and build your devotion toward the Holy One.  Be the first person to visit the website and leave a comment telling me what your favorite song is and I’ll send you your own copy of Jeremy Riddle’s Furious.

 

Disclaimer:  I received Furious in exchange for an honest product review.   I do not receive any other form of compensation for the reviews posted on this blog.

Loving, Learning, and Living!

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It’s quiet this morning.  Facing a busy day, my husband tiptoed out of the bedroom well before the sun came up.  I slept in.  In fact, the children are still sleeping in (hence the quietness).  I wanted to take advantage of this time alone so I gathered up my books and headed to the office with a cup of coffee.  Tomorrow I start a new weekly ladies Bible study at our church.  Teaching women the Word of God is one of my favorite things to do.  I’ve missed it since we moved a few months ago and now I’m excited to get started back.  This Bible study will be unique in that there will be a wide variety of women there.  There will be women from our church attend and from the community that have been invited but also mom’s whose children are attending “The Consortium” (contracted classes through a local homeschool group) that is held at our church.  I’m expecting a diverse group of women all coming under the banner of God’s love and the authority of His Word to learn more about our faith in Him.  Isn’t that what it’s all about? 

~Loving our God, Learning of Christ, and Living out Faith~

Sounds like a great ministry philosophy, doesn’t it?  Actually it is.  You can check it out here.  Are you involved in a weekly Bible Study?  Christians need that weekly encouragement in the Word and the accountability with one another.  If you are not, let me encourage you to plug in somewhere or start your own.  Ladies, I have two books written just for women.  There are links to them on the right side of this blog.

I still believe the best way to learn something is to teach it.  This explains why I teach; there is still so much to learn from God’s Word.  That is my greatest desire, flowing from my love for God, I truly want to learn more and more of Christ each day and take what I’ve learned and live it out for other’s to see.  God’s Word is so powerful.  In fact, without it we cannot grow in our faith.  It is His Word that works in those who believe.  “…when ye received the word of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe,” 1 Thessalonians 2:13.

Start today.  Dive into God’s Word and let it work in your life!

Blessings!

Beverly Lewis’ The Shunning

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When was the last time you picked up a good fiction book, curled up on the couch, and read for hours upon hours?  I’ve done that many times in the past.  But honestly I cannot remember when I last picked up a book to read just for fun.  My reading list now consists of research for my own books, textbook and curriculum reviews, and theological commentaries.  In the evenings, my husband does read some great books out loud to the children.  (Does that count?)  There just isn’t enough time and when I do pick up a good book I don’t want to put it down.  Unfortunately, I am the type of person who will get involved in an interesting story and read until 3 a.m.  And that is not a good habit for a mom who gets to wake up in a couple of hours and teach her children all day.  So, when I got an opportunity to review Beverly Lewis’ newest movie, “The Shunning” I was thrilled.  I’ve read many of her books and have always enjoyed them.  I have not read “The Shunning” but knew I could make time for an hour and half movie. 

 Mrs. Lewis was born in the heart of Pennsylvania Dutch country and is The New York Times bestselling author of more than eighty books.  Many of these books are Amish-related novels.  “The Shunning” based on her first novel, has sold more than one million copies.

 Last week I watched the movie with my daughter and my mother.  To be honest, I enjoyed watching it but felt cheated in the end.  Not to give anything away, but the end of the movie did not meet my expectations.  Maybe it’s just me.  So, be the first person to leave a comment and I’ll have your own copy of “The Shunning” DVD sent to you.  That way you can see for yourself and let us all know what you thought about the movie.

 

Movie Synopsis:

 Before she succumbs to cancer, the dying wish of Laura Mayfield-Bennett is to be reunited with the daughter she never knew. Unfortunately, that daughter, Katie Lapp, is a member of the Amish order. Katie is about to be married, but uneasy about the path ahead.  Now she discovers the secret her parents have kept from her: she’s adopted.  

 Check out the trailer here.

Disclaimer:  I received “The Shunning” DVD in exchange for an honest review.   I do not receive any other form of compensation for the reviews posted on this blog.

My Brother’s Keeper

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As people were standing around visiting last night after church services a comment was made that people need to “mind their own business”.  We were joking around and the comment was made in a light-spirited way but it made me contemplate a serious topic that permeates the modern church.  There is a notion going around that when it comes to one another in the church, people should “mind their own business” so to speak.  The idea of accountability, looking out for one another, exhortation, discipleship, admonishment, and being answerable to one another is gone.  This thought is foreign, especially when it comes to a brother or sister who is sinning.  After all, who are you to point out the faults and failures in others? 

 But as we read the Bible we see a theme of accountability of believers to one another.  We are to love one another, honor one another, edify one another, admonish one another, care for one another, serve one another, restore one another, bear one another’s burdens, and be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving toward one another.  We are to teach one another, comfort one another, exhort one another, and consider one another.  The Bible says we are to confess our sins to one another, have compassion with one another, be hospitable to one another, minister to one another, and fellowship with one another.  (John 13:34, Romans 12:10, Romans 14:19, Romans 15:14, I Corinthians 12:25, Galatians 5:13, Galatians 6:1-2, Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:16, I Thessalonians 4:18, Hebrews 3:13, Hebrews 10:24, James 5:16, I Peter 3:8, I Peter 4:9-10, I John 1:7)

 God designed us for accountability.  We need each other.  It was never intended for the believer to be an island off to themselves.  Coming to the faith in Scriptures always meant coming to a local fellowship of believers (the church or assembly).  Salvation is personal but the Christian life is not; we are not to be lone rangers.  When we are born into this world we are born to a family; when we are “born again” we should be joined with a family of believers.  In this family, the older are to teach the younger (Titus 2).  The strong in the faith should help to restore those overtaken in faults (Galatians 6:1).  The brethren should lovingly exhort and warn the unruly (I Thessalonians 5:14).  We are called to encourage one another daily so that sin will not harden our hearts (Hebrews 3:12-13).  And we are to love those in sin enough to have compassion and make a difference in their life.  Jude 22-23 says, “And of some have compassion, making a difference: And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.”  We are our brother’s keeper!  It was the first murderer who said, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Genesis 4:9.  Do we, as believers, really want to associate with this line of thinking?

There are several reasons that believers do not get involved in the lives of other believers.  One reason is that we are busy and it takes a lot of effort and time to be accountable to one another.  But that should not be an excuse.  We should make time for one another.  Another reason is that we have sin in our lives that we do not want to deal with.  Therefore, we cannot deal with sin in other people’s lives.  King David had sin in his life (a lot of sin) but when he repented and confessed his sin before God he said in Psalms 51 that he would use his experience to teach others.  “Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee,” Psalm 51:13.  Another reason we do not exhort others is because we fear that if we do we will be seen as “judging” them.  It is here people quote, “Judge not that ye be not judged,” (Matthew 7:1).  This is the problem we have when Scripture is taken out of context.  The Bible does not say we cannot judge the sins of others but that we are to first cast the beam out of our own eye “and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye,” (Matthew 7:5).  We are not to be hypocritical but in love and concern for our brother tell him his fault.

 I have found through social media, (like fb) that there are many professing Christians that have no qualm about sharing their sins with the world.  In pride and without shame they are puffed up and boast about sinning against God.  This greatly concerns me.  The testimonies of these charlatans are ruining the name of Christ.  When Christ’s name is slandered His church looses the ability to influence society.   This is partly the reason the church is relegated to the corner of society.  These people might have a “form of godliness” but they deny the power thereof (2 Timothy 3:5).  What power are they denying?  They are denying the power of the Word of God to work in their life, (I Thessalonians 2:13).   They are denying the power of Christ to crucify the old man, (Romans 6:6).   They are denying the power of God to keep them from practicing a lifestyle of sin (I John 3:9). They are denying the power of the Holy Ghost to teach them spiritual things, (I Corinthians 2:10-13).

 Like so many issues in the Bible, this one is clear.  The truths found in Scripture are absolute.  The Bible is black and white.  But regardless of this reality, they are not always easy to receive.  Accountability is hard.  It is hard to submit to the authority of others in your life.  But when we submit to that authority we are submitting to the will of God, (I Peter 5:5).  And likewise, sometimes it is hard speaking God’s Word into the life of others.  But if we truly love our brothers and sisters in the Lord we will be their keeper and exhort, rebuke, edify, and admonish them when it is necessary.