Building a Godly Marriage

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building houseI was reading this morning in Proverbs about the wise woman. I desire for my life to exude wisdom, no doubt every Christian woman does, so when I came across this verse it immediately caught my attention. “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands,” Proverbs 14:1. Often in scripture parallels are drawn between the family and a house. Psalm 127 is a great example. The first verse says, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.” Reading the chapter in context we easily see that the passage is speaking of the family. The following Psalm gives another example of the blessed man and his house. “Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table,” Psalm 128:3. So, a wise woman builds her house, or we could say that she builds her family. But a foolish woman plucks it down.

A person does not have to know a lot about buildings, or even understand all the concepts behind construction, to know the most important aspect. If you want to build a structure that will last, it has to be built on a solid foundation. The only foundation solid enough to build a lasting marriage is Christ. As the old hymn goes, “all other ground is sinking sand”. Jesus Christ is the foundation of the Christian home. My husband and I have counseled with many Christian families who are falling apart. They might appear to be healthy and striving as a family, but it is just a façade. They have the foundation of Christ in their home, but they are building a weak, unsecured structure upon that foundation. Our enemy, the great deceiver, is seeking to destroy Christian families. If Christ is truly the foundation of the home, we rest in the peace that the foundation cannot be destroyed. The enemy knows this, but it does not keep him from seeking to destroy the framework of the home.

The framework of the Christian home is the marriage. Think about what happens when Christian marriages are destroyed. The home is shattered, churches are weakened, testimonies are lost, and the enemy is victorious when this happens. This is because the biblical marriage on earth is a picture to the world of the perfect heavenly marriage. We find this truth in Ephesians 5:22-32.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

When Christian marriages operate in an unbiblical fashion, they portray to the world a distorted and false view of Christ and His bride. I recognize that most couples do not think about their marriage in this light. Too many times they are so busy focusing on themselves for their testimony to the world to even be considered. But bearing in mind the current state of marriage within the Christian community, it’s high time that Christian people start thinking about these things. What is your marriage saying to those around you? As children of God, does your marriage reflect the power of God in your life? When the unsaved world looks at your marriage are they drawn to God and His glorious truths?

A wise woman will build her house. She starts with the correct foundation and builds a godly marriage from there. But a wife cannot do it alone. It will take work and commitment from both husband and wife. This is why God commands His children to “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers,” 2 Corinthians 6:14a. It is imperative for a godly marriage. The picture is that through marriage my husband and I are yoked together or as Christ stated we are no longer two but one flesh. “(Jesus) said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder,” Matthew 19:5-6.

To pluck down or destroy my house would be to destroy myself, and that certainly would not be wise!

The Five Money Personalities & Book Give-a-Way

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moneyIn one way or another, money has an impact on a lot of decisions couples make together. Think about it. We often ask these questions: How much is it going to cost? Can we afford it? How much should we give? Will we go into debt? How can we get out of debt? Is it on sale? Will I get a pay raise or bonus? Should we eat at home or can we afford to go out? Will we shop at the mall or second hand stores? How much will we spend on our child’s birthday?
I would also say that money attributes to a lot of fights that couples have and in some cases even divorce. But, money is not bad in itself. It is the love of money that is the root of all evil, not money. However, wouldn’t it be great if we could live without the hassle of dealing with it? Unfortunately, we can’t.
Since we have to deal with money, it is wise to know what type of money personalities each of us have. Money personality? Yes, you have one. We all do. I recently read a book called The Five Money Personalities by Scott & Bethany Palmer. This money couple has dedicated their lives to helping other strengthen their relationships. With 43 years of combined financial planning experience, they launched “The Money Couple” and are regulars on national TV and radio and speak internationally about love and money.
The Five Money Personalities is an interesting book that explains the money personalities that each of us have. You and I are Spenders, Savers, Security Seekers, Risk Takers, or Flyers. More than likely, we are a combination of personalities. This book is not about money management or how to get out of debt. It’s all about relationships. I like that the focus is on the heart of the matter. It had practical advice on talking with your spouse about money and overcoming many money issue snares.
Interested in learning your money personality? Take this short online quiz here. If you want to read the book, leave a comment below and I’ll choose one person on February 1st to receive a new copy of The Five Money Personalities.

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.
(1Ti 6:10-11)

money couple

Disclaimer:   I received a copy of this book to review in exchange for an honest product review.   I do not receive any other form of compensation for the reviews posted on this blog.

We’ve Come a Long Way, Baby!

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Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite times of the year.  It evokes images such as the pilgrim’s first feast, children playing games, churches singing praises, and families gathered up together to pray.  While the first Thanksgiving feast was held in 1621 by the Plymouth colonists, it was over 200 years later in 1863 that President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national Thanksgiving Day to be held each November.   Since that time, the premise behind the holiday has been pure – acknowledge God for all He has done and give Him great thanks.  One of the reasons I love this holiday so much is because traditionally it has not been cheapened by commercialism like the Christmas and Easter seasons.

However, the black cloud known as Black Friday has descended and it hovers over Thanksgiving Day.  I remember a few years ago setting the alarm for 3 a.m. on the Friday after Thanksgiving so that I could get the best deals of the year.  Then stores opted to open at midnight.  You could stay up late and shop til you drop and I was among the thousands last year that did just that.  But this year stores are announcing that they will begin their Black Friday sales even earlier.  Toys R Us, Wal-Mart, Sears, and Kmart will open their doors at 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day.  Why?  So people can go from gobbling up their turkey to gobbling up savings.

We’ve come a long way.  Thanksgiving was once a spiritual time of thanking God for His bountiful blessings, but the focus has shifted to the physical and commercial aspects.  The thanksgiving attitude of contentment has seemingly been replaced with a discontented attitude of wanting more and more stuff.  Instead of spending time with our family, we spend money they don’t have for things we don’t need. 

An even sadder annotation is the people who don’t choose to spend their Thanksgiving holiday in the stores.  Rather they are the ones who want to be at home with their family, but are forced to work the stores in order to keep a job.

Is it really all about the money, retail sales, and commercialism?  Or perhaps there is an unseen force that has always attempted to stomp out gratefulness in the hearts of people who would give the Almighty the thanks He deserves.  My prayer this year is that in the midst of all that activities, parades, cooking, football games, traveling, family gatherings, and Black Friday deals that God’s children will stop, slow down, and acknowledge Him with a thankful heart.   And my prayer is that it will start with me.

“Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms,” Psalm 95:2.

“And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him,” Colossians 3:17.

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you,” I Thessalonians 5:18.

10 Years

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Happy Birthday Andrew!  No more single-digits, son!

You’ve brought us 10 years of laughter, joy, and amazement as we’ve watched you grow.

God has gifted you with a sharp mind, and your witty sense of humor and tender heart draws people to you.

You’re living up to the name you were given – Strong and Courageous – and will continue to.

You are a blessing to all who know you, especially your family.  And, you are blessed by the Most High.  Our greatest desire is that you serve Him all the days of your life.

We love you so much!

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Lesser of Two Evils

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According to a recent survey[i], 46% of Americans polled said that they will be voting for the “lesser of two evils” this presidential election.  Since it seems to be the most prevalent comment I’ve heard, I’m not surprised in the least.  And while I completely understand the rationale behind the thought, the notion is troubling.  Laying aside all political loyalties, social concern, or even emotional motives, this issue boils down to the simplistic truth that choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.

Let me speak to Christians.  If we hold to God’s Word as all truth, we must admit that “lesser evil” is still “evil”.  We are told in Romans 12:9 to “abhor that which is evil.”  In I Thessalonians 5:22 we are told to “abstain from all appearance of evil.”  Proverbs 8:13 states that “the fear of the Lord is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way.”  And Ephesians 5:11 tells us to have no fellowship (or partnership) with the “unfruitful works of darkness.”  Instead believers are to “reprove” (admonish or rebuke) evil.

Voting is a privilege as well as our Christian duty, and I would never tell a person who they should vote for.  But I will exhort my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to prayerfully consider what your vote will stand for.  A fellow blogger made the statement that in 1933 Germany the two most “electable” parties were the Nazis and the Communists.  Then he asks a pointed question.  “For which of these did German Christians have a ‘civic duty’ to vote?”

It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.   I believe that it is foolish to expect different results in our country until God’s people change their ways (repent) and begin to stand firm on truth.  When Christians step away from absolute truth and blend right and wrong with relativism, or try to cover up black and white issues with shades of gray, we are in danger of God’s judgment.  The Bible is filled with antithetical laws: good or evil, black or white, saved or unsaved, right or wrong, heaven or hell, narrow way or broad way, foundation on solid rock or sandy foundation, righteous or unrighteous, God’s children or the children of the devil, etc.    May our faith and practice once again line up with this truth.

The “New” Front Porch

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My husband’s first church was in a little town in central Arkansas (population 202).  It was a quaint little town, stuck in the 50’s.  We knew all of our neighbors.  People waved as they drove past.  Those walking down the street would stop and talk to you.  We went to Crime Watch and played softball at the park.  I did aerobics at the community center and my husband was on the volunteer fire department.  Everyone in the town knew you and you knew everyone in the town.  People didn’t need an invitation to stop by for a visit.  My family loved living there and living in a “glass house” didn’t bother us.  We wanted our church to know that we were the same in our home as well as outside in the community.  Everyone had a front porch and we would often find them sitting on it.  In fact, my first Ladies Bible study was held on a front porch.  One mid-morning Tuesday a dozen ladies gathered up for a luncheon, sweet tea, and the Word of God.    Living there was a good experience for us.

Today we live in a far different atmosphere.  I do not know my neighbors.  In fact, since we’ve lived in town, we have had a hard time meeting even our next door neighbors.  People are busy.  Garage doors stay closed.  Blinds stay shut.  No one sits on their front porch because no one has a front porch.  Sometimes we hear our neighbors in their backyard, but even that is seldom.  Several months ago we tried to meet our new neighbors who just moved in.  My husband took over a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies to welcome them into our neighborhood.  As it turned out, it was the cleaning people.  They enjoyed the cookies, I’m sure.

It is though people do not want to be known.  “I have my own life.  Leave me alone.  Don’t bother me.”

That is until they get online……..

You see, it’s not that people don’t necessarily want to get to know people.  It’s just that they don’t want to get to know them face to face.  They don’t want to sit on their front porch and visit with a neighbor over a cup of coffee.  That takes too much time.  It’s too much of an investment.  There is a risk associated with it.  It involves real people.

But, the “new” front porch is a different story.  This front porch can be anywhere.  It can be in your bedroom, the car, at work, during church service, at the doctor’s office, or on the playground.  In fact, on those rare occasions when we are actually visiting with someone face to face, we can still be sitting on our own “front porch” interacting with someone entirely different.  This new front porch has many names.  You might recognize it at Facebook, Twitter, Skype, texting, or basically any type of social networking and virtual connections.  It really is a strange phenomenon.  There are people who will not take 3 seconds to look another person in the eyes when greeted.  Yet, these same people will tell the whole world all the happenings of their day.  We know what they ate for breakfast, where their spent their last dollar, what games they play online, what TV shows they are watching, the status of their ingrown toenail, and all their personal problems.  There are people who have 4,000 “friends” online, yet could not name 3 “real” friends who would be there if needed.  They will proudly announce to the world their private sins in the form of a status update, yet would never dream of confessing their faults to the church (James 5:16).

Indeed there is a façade associated with the “new” front porch, but is it more ominous than all of that?  My concern is toward the Christian community.  Has all of this online interaction become a surrogate church of sorts?  Let me explain.  Just today I was reading a post by a young mother who was pouring out her heart and begging for encouragement from others in this certain online group.  My heart immediately went out to her, but not necessarily because she was having family troubles.  I was sad for her because it appeared that she did not have anyone (other than an online Christian group) to talk to.  What a sad commentary for the local church.  Tell me, can someone typing ((hugs)) really replace a friends presence?

Like so much of technology there are pro’s and con’s associated it.  I like Facebook.  I love seeing pictures of my family and friends.  I like being able to seed messages and connect with those I know.  I enjoy being able to send a short text to someone.  It simplifies communicating.  Emails are great.  I would much rather type a letter to a friend than take the time to write one out on paper, it’s faster.  And Skype sure comes in handy when my husband and I travel.  We can still see the children, pray with them, and tell them goodnight “face to face.”  Technology should enhance communication; it should not replace it.

As with all of technology there is a fine line.  Do we embrace it or shut it off?  I think I will invited a friend over for a cup of coffee and sit outside on the deck to discuss it.  Some “real people” interaction sounds nice.  On second thought, I’m too busy for that today.  So, I think I’ll throw this up online.  If you want to sit on my “front porch” for a while leave a comment.

Blessings!

Looking At The Invisible

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“We look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen…”

It’s been an exhausting week!  Every day last week kept me running, and I do not function well when I’m that busy.  I like calm days, an organized and clean home, a pleased husband, happy children, obedient dogs, gentle music, and pleasant weather.  And I do not care for the antithesis of any of that.  In addition to being too busy, little things keep happening that have left me mentally, physically, and spiritually drained.  The starter on my suburban is going out, a minor inconvenience.   My husband had $2,000 worth of dental work done on Tuesday, another slight more than slight inconvenience.  A blood vessel in my eye burst, leaving me red eyed for several days.  My sleep waned last night as I prayed for a family dealing with domestic violence. Then to top it off I turned on the news early this morning.  Thirty minutes was all I could stand.  Let me ask; after watching this stuff has anyone ever walked away feeling good?  It’s depressing and if allowed, all of this can serve as a catalyst for discouragement, despair, and defeat.

But then I remembered the words spoken to my heart yesterday through the various teaching and preaching ministries at my church.  Words were spoken to encourage, exhort, admonish, uplift, and even inspire me to press toward the mark of the high calling.  We all have troubles.  They are just another example of truth spoken in John 16:33.  I know to expect them.  It’s called life.  So, why do I fix my eyes upon them?  My flesh cries “me, me, me,” but the spirit within cries, “Look up, look up!  Be renewed day by day!”  Paul, (who understood troubles quite a bit more than I) said, “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2Co 4:16-18) Perspective sure changes everything!  I’ll be looking up today and it won’t be at things before me.  I’ll be looking at the invisible.

Exhorting One Another

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“Listen to this,” I told my son, “according to this study 88% of children raised in evangelical Christian homes will leave the church by the age of 18.”

What do you think?”  I asked.  “Do you think you will ever be a part of this 88%?”

My son turns 16 next week.  He is just a few years shy of this age.  So I genuinely wanted to know his thoughts on the subject.

“I don’t know, Mom” he replied.  “But I do know that if I ever did get out of church that I would have you and Dad and my church family there to exhort, admonish, and encourage me to come back.”

I explained to my son that none of us are above falling into sin, or are we immune from straying from the fellowship.  But I assured him that should that happen in his life that he would always be loved and prayed for.

It was comforting to know that my teenage son had a clear understanding of part of the ministry of the local fellowship.  He understood that if he were to stray from God (and then the church as a result) that his brothers and sisters in Christ would be there to hold him accountable.

Regardless of what some will say today, exhortation is a biblical principle.

“Therefore I thought it necessary to exhort the brethren…” (2Co 9:5)

 “Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more.” (1Th 4:1)

 “Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.” (1Th 5:14)

 “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.” (2Ti 4:2)

 “These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.” (Tit 2:15)

 It is detrimental to a person’s spiritual growth to be removed from the fellowship of the local church.  Yet, many enthusiastically walk away.  When this happens in a young person’s life and they fall into sin, it’s good to know that their parents will always be there.  But how much more powerful is it knowing that a whole group of others who love you is there as well – bearing your burdens, lifting you up in prayer, holding you accountable, admonishing you when you sin, and rebuking you in love.

A church that truly loves each other will exhort one another.  We do it because we love.  We do it because it pleases God.  We do it because if we don’t, sin will harden our hearts.

 “But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.” (Heb 3:13)

“Jesus loved him”

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“Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, ‘One thing thou lackest…’”

It only takes a few minutes online to see enough pride, arrogance, and debauchery flowing through Facebook, Pinterest, and other sites to make my blood boil.  There is a sense of indignation that springs up in my heart, especially when the things of God are debased.  The longer I live, the clearer I can see the depravity of man.  Of course, times are no different today than when Jesus walked upon this earth.  Sin still reigns in the hearts of men.  Men still love darkness rather than light. Men’s eyes are still blinded by the god of this world.  Man is man – nothing more.   But lest we forget, God is God and nothing less.

In 2 Corinthians 5:18 we are told, “all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation.” Have you ever thought about the ministry of reconciliation that the child of God has been given?  Our ministry is to help reconcile sinful man to a holy, perfect, and just God.  Sometimes this ministry is frustrating.  We know “the terror of the Lord” and therefore we persuade men (2 Corinthians 5:11), but “the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God,” 1 Corinthians 1:18.

Sometimes I struggle with how I am to communicate this with those who are blind.  This is why I love the Way of the Master evangelism course.  I’ve been through it several times and my husband is currently teaching it in our home each Monday night.  The point of the course is to evangelize the way Christ did.  His method was law to the proud and grace to the humble.   When the rich young ruler came to Christ seeking how to inherit eternal life, the Lord did not give him the “plan of salvation”.  Nor did He lead him in a “sinner’s prayer”.  Nor did Christ tell this man that he had a “God shaped hole in his heart” and if he would just believe that he would receive.  Instead, Christ pointed him to the law of God.

“And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God. Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother.” (Mar 10:18-19)

When this man insisted that he had kept all of these from his youth (obviously bearing false witness) then Jesus, “beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.” Mark 10:21

Because of this man’s pride, Jesus kept pointing him to the law.  Giving away everything to the poor will not save anyone.  Jesus was showing him the essence of the 1st Commandment.

“Thou shalt have no other gods before me,” Exodus 20:3.

But what happens?  The man walks away sad.  He refuses to follow Christ, because he had another god.  “And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions,” Mark 10:22.

Other times in Scripture, like the woman at the well in John 4, we see Christ giving the gospel to those who are humble.  Law to the proud and grace to the humble.   

 But what really caught my attention while reading this passage yesterday during our small group study was one simple phrase in Mark 10:21.  “Then Jesus beholding him loved him…”  Here was an unsaved man who came to Christ, was pointed to the law, and still walked away unregenerate.  Yet, Jesus loved him.  I’ve missed it in the past.  Jesus loved him!  Of course He did.  He desires all men to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth.  And in His love for the man, the most loving thing that Christ could do for him was to point him to the law of God.

Christian, Do you love the sinner?  Do you love them like Christ loved them?

Do I love the sinner like Christ loves them?  If I did I would tell them that “it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment,” Hebrews 9:27.  If I loved them I would tell them about their sins and how “sin is the transgression of the law,” 1 John 3:4.  I would tell them that “the wages of sin is death,” Romans 6:23a.  And I would point them to the law of God so that they would see their need for a Savior.  This is the most loving thing we can do.

“Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God,” Romans 3:19.

The American Bible Challenge

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“If you have a show that encourages people to open this book (the Bible) and delve into it, and learn not only what God says about Himself but what He says about you – that’s a win, win!” Jeff Foxworthy

The American Bible Challenge, hosted by Jeff Foxworthy, premiered on the GAME SHOW NETWORK last night.  Did you see it?  I believe that the Bible is the holy, inspired, infallible, all sufficient, precious Word of God and should not be treated any less.  So I was somewhat apprehensive when I first heard about this new game show.  Would it turn out to be offensive?  Or, make light of God’s Word?  Or, could it possibly be a show that glorifies God and His Word?  Would people be encouraged to study the Bible and learn more of it by watching this?   I must say that after watching The Making of the American Bible Challenge (you can watch it here) and catching the last few minutes of last night’s show, I believe that The American Bible Challenge does appear to be a “win-win”.

What impressed me most with The Making of the American Bible Challenge was the heart behind the producers to magnify God’s Word in a very respectful way.  Also, I learned a lot about Jeff Foxworthy that I didn’t know.  Truthfully, all I knew about him was his redneck jokes.  However, I learned that he is indeed a believer.  He grew up with a mother who is a mighty prayer warrior.  He teaches the Bible to a group of homeless men each Tuesday, and has an accountability group that he has met with each Thursday for the past 15 years.  In reference to the Bible he said, “It exactly applies to me.  It applies to my life right now.”

Jeff closed the show with, “If you don’t know your Bible – You don’t have a prayer!”  I couldn’t agree more and will add that if you don’t know the God of the Bible and His Son, you certainly don’t have a prayer!

My prayer is that this show will be successful and that many people will be pointed to God and His Word through it.  If you haven’t seen it yet, check out the below sites.

Website: http://gsntv.com/shows/the-american-bible-challenge/

Trailer: http://gsntv.com/shows/the-american-bible-challenge/videos/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theamericanbiblechallenge

By the way, I have my own Bible Challenge for you. 

 What book in the Bible tells us that hell has enlarged herself?

 *****The first person to comment and correctly answer this question will be sent a Zondervan Quest Bible and The American Bible Challenge T-Shirt.

Happy searching!

 

Disclosure:  I received the give-a-way product mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention this on my blog.