My husband and I just celebrated our 32^nd wedding anniversary. It’s been an exciting and glorious journey that began when we were just young kids. We’ve grown up together not only in age, but also in our Christian walk. We’ve raised 3 children and walked, hand-in-hand, through this life leaning on the Lord. Our marriage has been filled with laughter, tears, joy, pain, dreams, disaster, anticipation over the future, and fear of the unknown. At times it was too easy to be true and at other times it was harder than we thought we could bear. We learned early that fleshing out “two becoming one” was sometimes messy. We recognize that the sin nature we all have, along with living in this dark world, often makes marriage difficult. It’s not easy and having a God-honoring marriage is even harder.

If you and your spouse strive to live in a way that honors God, be prepared for a spiritual attack. Biblical marriage points people toward God. He ordained marriage. It is a picture and witness to this world of Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:31-32). It is good and holy. And Satan hates everything about it. He wishes to destroy your marriage (along with your life, testimony, and family). We need to be watchful because our adversary, the devil, is a roaring lion, walking about seeking people to devour (1 Peter 5:8). He often uses the troubles of this world to divide husband and wife. He’s crafty and knows how to tear couples apart. He would love nothing more than for you to give up on each other, throw in the towel, and say that marriage is too hard.

The enemy is against us; the world is against us; and our own weak flesh battles against us. It is tempting to live in defeat. But, if you are a child of God, in Christ you are victorious! He has already overcome the enemy (Revelation 20:10). Those that are born of God have overcome the world (1 John 5:4). And even our flesh has been defeated (Romans 6:6). We can walk from victory unto victory if we choose.

My husband and I have seen our share of trials and troubles over the past 32 years. Through it all, we’ve grown closer to Jesus and each other. Our love is deeper and stronger with each trial. And we’ve learned the important aspect of hating, losing, and fighting in our marriage.  That’s right, you didn’t misread this.

To be victorious you must first learn how to hate. Did you know that love and hate go hand in hand? If you love children, then you will hate seeing children abused or murdered in the womb. If you love freedom, then you will hate bondage and slavery. If you love God, then you will hate the things that are against God. To have a strong, godly marriage you must hate how the world has tried to distort marriage. You must hate divorce. You must hate the things that tear marriage apart and you must both stand on that conviction when marriage gets hard.

You also must learn how to lose. I know, we live in a win-at-all-cost society, but a couple who lives victoriously will lose. They will lose their pride. They will lose their selfishness. And they will lose all things that try to pull them away from God and each other.

And finally, you need to fight! When troubles come, and life gets hard, our eyes often become fixed on our problems. Words get spoken in haste and fighting begins. It may even seem that your spouse is the enemy. But, dear Christian, our fight is not against flesh and blood, but against “principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12). Don’t fight each other. Work together. Build your marriage on the foundation of Christ. Position yourselves at the door of your home and press back against the darkness of this world. Fight the enemy with the Word of God. Stand with conviction, be committed to the cause, and take courage, dear saints. When life gets hard, remember that the battle is the Lord’s. 

Find out more about having a biblical, God-honoring marriage from Dana & Kimberly’s book The Eden Concept: Marriage God’s Way athttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1983938343