Loving Your Spouse in Deed & Truth

loveDid you know that in 1st John we see 46 different forms of the word love?  I have been teaching through this book to our ladies during our Monday night Bible study.  Love envelops the Epistles of John.  It not only adorns this book, but is a consistent theme throughout the entire Word of God.

 We have been learning that love is more than an emotion. While emotion is attached to love, it is in actuality an act of the will. We choose to love. And while a person wants to be told they are loved; they want to be shown even more. Therefore, true love is active, not passive.  We are told in 1 John 3:18, “Let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.” So let’s take a look at what loving our spouse in deed and truth looks like. (With special thanks to my husband who has written the part for men.)


 My husband says that most men are fairly easy to please. They basically need three things – food, sex, and respect (and not necessarily in that order). While this may be true and is certainly a good starting point, there are many ways a wife can show love on a daily basis. The way you show your husband love will probably look different than the way I show my husband love. So do not use the below list as an excuse for falling into the trap of comparison. This is always detrimental to a marriage. Instead, use these suggestions as a means of sparking your creative imagination and love your husband in a way that makes him see the truth in Proverbs 18:22. “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”

  • Create an atmosphere of peace in the home.

  • Pray for his life and success daily.

  • Help him maintain male friendships by allowing him time away with the boys.

  • When he has had a hard day, romance him in the evening.

  • Praise him in public.

  • Save money in a jar and buy him something he really wants.

  • Build him up in the eyes of your children. Make him their greatest hero.

  • When he asks you to do something, do it with pleasure.

  • Support his life ambitions in both word and deed.

  • Fix his favorite meal or dessert on occasion.

  • Don’t complain.

  • Be quick to say I’m sorry and even quicker to forgive.

  • Be a woman he can trust. Don’t share more than you should with others.

  • When he arrives home from work, allow him some quiet time before discussing the day.

  • Maintain your health and beauty.

  • Pray for his weaknesses, praise his strengths.

  • Put your husband before your children and make sure he knows that he will always hold that place.

  • Always express thankfulness for all he does for your family whether it is big or small.

  • The next time you are tempted to usurp his authority, don’t.

  • Surround yourself with friends who want to see your marriage last and listen to them.

  • Speak kindly and watch the tone of your voice. Avoid being loud or whiny.

  • Be there in his hour of need.

  • Be content with what you have, not always demanding more.

  • Be slow to speak and quick to listen.

  • Drop an encouraging note or scripture in his lunch or brief- case.

  • Send romantic texts (just make sure it goes to the right person).

  • Treat him with respect and teach the children to do the same.

  • Begin each day with a hug. End each night with a kiss.

  • Add to this list continually.


Husbands before you read the list below, prayerfully consider that your wife is a precious vessel in which to treasure and that this list is not a checklist to say, “Okay I have done my part”, but a guide to help reaffirm her as your “help meet.” She was created from the man, not from his head to rule over him, nor from his foot to be subjugated by him, but from his side to be his close ally and trusted confidant.  As her husband the Bible commands you to “wash her with the water of the word” this means to speak into her life and help her live through the scriptures you share with her day by day. The word husband is the word used to be a dresser of vines, one who cultivates and not that of dictator or tyrant. You are her spiritual head and it is your loving obligation to lead her into the truth of God’s Word together. Now consider some of the following to help strengthen her first, and your own position of authority second:

  •  After the kids are in bed, slow dance by candlelight or firelight.

  • Do something around the house that your wife usually does.

  • Take up a new hobby or interest together or share those you already have.

  • Praise your wife in front of the children.

  • Be trustworthy.

  • Pray with and for your wife.

  • Exercise together.

  • Be the Spiritual leader you are called to be by reading scripture together.

  • Let her talk.  Be slow to speak, quick to listen.

  • Keep pictures of your family in your wallet or around the office.

  • Be the sole provider for your family.

  • Schedule a monthly (or weekly, if possible) date with your wife.

  • Write her love letters.

  • Fill her car up with gas when it’s low.

  • Make your anniversary very special.

  • Send her flowers on your children’s birthdays.

  • Encourage her to spend time with godly women.

  • Always express thankfulness for all she does for the family whether it is big or small.

  • Use physical affection often -a hand on the shoulder, neck rub, stroke on the cheek, etc.

  • Watch the tone of your voice. Be kind, don’t yell.

  • Always forgive.

  • Be a good father to your children.

  • Let her sleep in occasionally and serve her favorite breakfast in bed.

  • Add to this list continually.

Note: Looking for a study on love from 1st John? Click here for a verse by verse study for women through the Epistles of John.

Love: Now Available!

I am so excited to announce that the 3rd book in the Living Out the Word series is now available!  Thank you all for your prayers and support this year as I have worked to complete this project.

If you know of a ladies group that is looking for a verse by verse Bible study please share this information with them.



What does love look like?  Is God’s love like ours, or is ours like His?  Find out what the Apostle of Love has to say in his epistles about God’s amazing love.  Love in not only a general theme within the Epistles of John but also throughout the entire Bible.  The greatest commandment of all is centered on love.  As believers in Christ we are to walk in love, be rooted and grounded in love, follow after love, and put on love.  We are told in 1 John 4:8 that not only does God love, but that “God is love”.  During this verse by verse study, we will drive into the deep truths of God and learn what true love is and how we are to respond.  You can order your copy of Love: A Verse by Verse study for Women through the Epistles of John here!

Blessings to each of you as you strive to Live Out the Word!

Living the Abundant Life

The last few months have flown by and I haven’t been able to blog as much as I would like.  So here is a Williams “Catch Up” post.

It’s hard to believe that it is already the middle of March.  This past year has flown by.  In January we started back at the Consortium each Wednesday. (Our church has been so gracious to open up the building as well as serve lunch to all the students and teachers each week.  I am truly blessed to be a part of Cornerstone and what God is doing there.) The three A’s each took a full day’s worth of classes and really enjoyed them (plus all the socializing with friends).

Dana taught a Biblical Greek class.  The class learned a lot of practical application on how to study their Bible and seemed to enjoy it, but they did complain about all the homework.  I tried to tell him that homeschooling students are not use to doing homework…..

I taught Blogging 101. During the class we created an ETC Youth blog.  You can check it out here.  My students also created their own personal blogs just for fun. Aaron complains that they never gets visitors, so please go check out their blogs …..poor things.







At the end of the quarter we held an Exhibition Program at Cornerstone.  There were tons of great performances.  We have a lot of talented children in our 65+ family homeschool group.  During the night the Drama Class put on short play called the Emperors New Rags.  Guess who played the part of the king?

In February Cornerstone hosted a very successful Valentine’s Banquet. One of the best things about our church is the love we have for one another.  So this was a wonderful opportunity to share our love and God’s love with others outside the church.

The children enjoyed a small snow day during the month of February.  Being our first year back in Arkansas I, of course, expected a bigger winter.  But that’s okay.  They still had fun.

It didn’t last long.  The next day we were all in t-shirts driving around town with the sunroof open.  I do believe that winter is over.

Some of the families in our homeschool group took a field trip to a local fire station a few weeks ago.  We took my 2 year old nephew and he spent the day with us.  This was his first time to be with us by himself.  We are so thankful to be close family again!  Have I said that already?

Dana and I have both been extremely busy.  He has more projects than I care to mention.  But he’s loving every minute of it.

And I have been somewhat consumed finishing up my 4th book.

So, we decided to take a Saturday a couple of weeks ago and spend it at Devil’s Den State Park.  Dana and I have not been there in years. We took a picnic and spent the afternoon hiking.  It was a wonderful family day.

God has certainly blessed our family.  I am looking forward to seeing what He has in store for us and excited about what the future holds.  So until next time, I’ll be here….living that abundant life.

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” (Gal 2:20)

Happy are the Holy

I am sitting here this morning in sweet reflection.  The closing paragraph, last sentence, and final words to my 4th book were written last week.  It is off to the editor and in the hands of the man writing the forward.  The thought of it all brings great happiness.

The Epistles of John have been an incredible study for me personally.  The theme of the books is love.  It covers God’s love to us and our love to others.  But what I did not expect was the amount of love shown by the Apostle to his readers.  What makes his love so revealing is its under-girding of absolute truth.  John writes these letters so that believers might “know that they know” with confidence and assurance that they are in the faith.

Living Out the Word: Love has been perhaps the deepest and most heart revealing ladies Bible study that I have written.  John’s epistles gives a person a series of tests they can take to see if their faith is real.  Have you ever questioned your salvation?  Did you know that it is okay to do so?  In fact, we are commanded in Scripture to do just this.  “Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves,” 2 Corinthians 13:5a.

One of the tests that Johns gives is purity.  I John 3:3 says, “And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.”  The “hope” this verse is referring to is the hope of Christ’s return (I John 3:2).  We often use “hope” as a synonymic word for “wish”. But do not mistake it here in this verse.  It does not mean wish, want, or desire.  The word conveys a stronger meaning.  The Greek word is elpis and it means having confidence in, earnest expectation, or anticipation.  Hope makes a difference in the life of those who believe.  The person who has the hope (confidence) of one day seeing Christ will purify himself.   Notice also that there are no exceptions to the principle here.   The verse says that every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself.”  A few weeks ago my husband started an expository study through 1st John.  Yesterday’s afternoon study was on this verse.

As it turned out, my husband is also preaching verse by verse through the book of Matthew during our morning worship service.  Yesterday’s sermon was on Matthew 5:8 taken from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount.  “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”  To be blessed is to be happy.  To be pure in heart is to be holy.  I was amazed at how the two sermons tied so perfectly together.  Happy are those that are pure in heart (holy) and only those that have the confidence that Christ will return will purify themselves.   So, just what is purity?  My husband explained three types of purity for the believer.  There is positional purity, practical purity, and perfect purity.

Positional Purity is how the believer stands before God. “For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God,” Colossians 3:3. When God looks at us He sees the precious blood of His Son.  “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin,” 1 John 1:7.  The believer is positionally pure.

Practical Purity is how we live out our faith.  “Every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself.” 

  •  “Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God,” 2 Corinthians 7:1.
  •  “As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy,” 1 Peter 1:14-16.
  •  “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service,” Romans 12:1.

Perfect Purity is that day that all believers long for.  “Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is,” 1 John 3:2.  It has not happened yet, but we know that one day we will be like Christ.   Spiritually we are pure but we still live in this sinful flesh.  However, our bodies will one day be glorified (Romans 8:30) and we will be perfectly pure.  What a day that will be!

It is the realization that we are positionally pure and the expectation of one day being perfectly pure that gives us the desire to live out our lives in practical purity.  “Blessed are the pure in heart.”   Happy are the holy, “for they shall see God.”

New Website!

Most of you know that I have been working diligently to finish up my fourth book (and 3rd in the Living Out the Word series).  Lord willing, LOVE: a verse by verse study for women through the epistles of John will be completed by March 2012.  Please keep me in your prayers as I strive to meet this goal. 

The new website, www.livingouttheword.net,  is devoted just to the Living Out the Word series.  I would love for you to stop by and check it out!



Loving, Learning, and Living!

It’s quiet this morning.  Facing a busy day, my husband tiptoed out of the bedroom well before the sun came up.  I slept in.  In fact, the children are still sleeping in (hence the quietness).  I wanted to take advantage of this time alone so I gathered up my books and headed to the office with a cup of coffee.  Tomorrow I start a new weekly ladies Bible study at our church.  Teaching women the Word of God is one of my favorite things to do.  I’ve missed it since we moved a few months ago and now I’m excited to get started back.  This Bible study will be unique in that there will be a wide variety of women there.  There will be women from our church attend and from the community that have been invited but also mom’s whose children are attending “The Consortium” (contracted classes through a local homeschool group) that is held at our church.  I’m expecting a diverse group of women all coming under the banner of God’s love and the authority of His Word to learn more about our faith in Him.  Isn’t that what it’s all about? 

~Loving our God, Learning of Christ, and Living out Faith~

Sounds like a great ministry philosophy, doesn’t it?  Actually it is.  You can check it out here.  Are you involved in a weekly Bible Study?  Christians need that weekly encouragement in the Word and the accountability with one another.  If you are not, let me encourage you to plug in somewhere or start your own.  Ladies, I have two books written just for women.  There are links to them on the right side of this blog.

I still believe the best way to learn something is to teach it.  This explains why I teach; there is still so much to learn from God’s Word.  That is my greatest desire, flowing from my love for God, I truly want to learn more and more of Christ each day and take what I’ve learned and live it out for other’s to see.  God’s Word is so powerful.  In fact, without it we cannot grow in our faith.  It is His Word that works in those who believe.  “…when ye received the word of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe,” 1 Thessalonians 2:13.

Start today.  Dive into God’s Word and let it work in your life!