Tag: men

The Submissive Husband

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Is your husband submissive? Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? I believe that every wife wants a submissive husband. I know that I do and I’m thankful for mine. While society likes to think of it as such, submission is not an ugly term. However, before the feminist get too excited, let me clarify that I am not talking about some distorted view of manhood and marriage. As a woman, let me say that there is nothing more appalling than a weak and fragile, “Yes Dear, whatever you say” type of husband. Men are designed to be men. They are created to be leaders. Simplistic, I know, but so true. So, what I am talking about is a husband who is submissive to biblical authority.

Authority is a large part of everyone’s life. We are always under some type of authority. Children must learn to submit to the authority of their parents. Wives must learn to submit to the authority of their own husbands. Husbands must learn to submit to the authority in the workplace, church authority, and governmental authority. All believers must submit to God’s authority. Even unbelievers will one day submit. “For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God,” Romans 14:11. (Sadly, by the time an unbeliever learns to submit to God’s absolute authority it will be too late for them.)

Submission is a reality of life. It is one that has been under attack since the beginning of time. Today we see unnecessary heartache because of the lack of understanding of biblical authority. There are miserable parents who have failed to teach this truth to their children and who are reaping the consequences. The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. (Pro 29:15) There are husbands and wives who are struggling in their marriage because they have never been taught proper authority or have simply chosen to ignore it. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Eph 5:24-25) There are churches that are spiritually dying due to sin in the camp and a refusal to lovingly establish the authority of church discipline. Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump? Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened… (1Co 5:6-7a) There are pastors who struggle in leadership because they have not taught their flock to “obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you,” Hebrews 13:17. Untold numbers of boys and girls live in daily turmoil at home, in school, and with society because no one taught them the truth. Thousands of men and women are in prison today because they did not submit to proper authority. Do you see the importance of biblical authority?

For the believer in Christ, submission is essential. James 4:7 says to, “Submit yourselves therefore to God.” It is through submission to Christ, as Lord and Master, that we are saved. As a Christian wife, Ephesians 5:24 states that your submission to your husband beautifully illustrates the submission of the church to Christ. When we as believers fail to submit to our husband we demonstrate to the world a distorted and pathetic portrait of Christ and His holy bride. This is one of the reasons that having a husband that is submissive to Christ is so important. Christian wives must submit to their husband in order to be obedient to the Lord. The command to submit is not circumstantial. As stated in I Peter 3:1, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.” However, it is a lot easier to submit to a husband who is submitting to Christ and following Him.

Is your husband submissive? I hope so. It makes for a glorious marriage. If not, Christian wife, keep praying for your husband. Love him and still submit to him. Win him over with your lifestyle. Have a quiet and meek spirit. Let him see your loving heart and good works. And watch and see what the Lord will do in your marriage!

“For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.”(2Ch 16:9)

Excuse me…..Is that your husband?

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 If I was given the choice between going to the Lowes and the mall, Lowes would win hands down nearly every time. Our family likes to go just because. The boys head for the lumber and hardware departments. My daughter and I head for decorations and home improvements. One particular day after looking at lighting we started hunting my husband and boys. We saw them, as we rounded a corner, at the end of an isle. It was then that I was approached by a woman saying, “Excuse me, Is that your husband?” I looked over to where this woman was pointing. There was my husband talking to my oldest son. He was listening intently as his father was teaching him the difference between certain types of nails. My youngest son, at his daddy’s feet, was looking up at his father and brother wishing for the day he could be big and strong like them. I said to this lady, “Yes, that is my husband,” wondering why the inquisition. She was an employee at Lowes and proceeded to tell me the story of her pushing a heavy washer down the isle. My husband, seeing her stuggle, asked her if he could help. Astonished she replied, “No sir, I work here. It’s my job.” “Well,” he said, “if my wife was having to move that washer I would hope someone would offer to help her.” This lady with a voice of gratitude said to me, “I just want you to know how much that meant to me. You have a fine husband.”

I’ve thought about that day often. Not because it was a rare occasion for my husband to show honor because he often does. But that day I realized, for perhaps the first time, how few women see it. When women do see men being chivalrous they almost do not know how to take it. When my boys were little their dad taught them to honor women and the elderly by holding open doors. Not too long ago my oldest son opened the door for me at a store and two young men stepped in front of me and went through the door. My son just shook his head at their rudeness. The shame in it all is that those young men probably did not have a man in their life to teach them manners. And they, as well, will proabably not teach their children either.

Those who know me know that I am not physically weak. I could, and have many times, moved a heavy appliance. But, the point my husband was trying to make is that a wife (and women in general) should be showed honor as the weaker (more precious) vessel. (I Peter 3:7) My husband does this in many ways. One way he does this is by never having me pump gas. I’ve pumped gas a thousand times in the past but for the past 4 or 5 years he always does it. If I am going on a field trip with my children the next day and the gas tank is low he will drive to town and get gas that evening. I’ve never asked him to do it; it’s just a way he shows honor. There are lots of ways a husband can honor his wife. I believe one of the greatest ways and probably the most effective way is by not expecting her to take on man’s curse given to Adam; the woman has her own.

It’s really sad when Christian men have their prayers hindered because they simply do not show honor to their wife? Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1Pe 3:7) I pray we can teach our sons and change one family at a time.