Tag: relationships

The Wrong Question

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questionDid you know that I love to ask questions? Not only do I learn from asking, but I teach thorough the use of questions as well. This is known as the Socratic Method of teaching. It is a great tool for guiding people on a journey of discovery as well as moves them toward greater understanding. But what happens when we ask the wrong question? Logically, we would have to say that we get the wrong answer.

Should a woman have the right to choose an abortion? That is the wrong question.

The correct question is: Should society allow the murder of innocent babies?

Should Christians be allowed to pray in government ran schools? Again, that is the wrong question. The question we should be asking is: Should we allow an ungodly government to train and educate our Christian children? When we begin to ask the right question, all of a sudden we begin to get the right answers.

Have you ever heard anyone say, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” That is another wrong question. In Luke 18 a rich young ruler came to Jesus saying, “Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” Jesus responsed with, “Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God,” (Luke 18:19). There is none good but God. So, when we ask, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” we are asking the wrong question. The correct question should be, “Why do bad things happen to bad people,” or “Why do good things happen at all?”

Several years ago in South Mississippi, we attended a revival where our friend Brandon Wilson was preaching. He addressed the same thought of asking the wrong questions. The point he made was that many times Christians ask, “Is this a sin?”

We will question…

Is it a sin to drink?
Is it a sin to watch this movie?
Is it a sin to say this?
Is it a sin to date this person?
Is it a sin to (fill in the blank)?

Again, we are asking the wrong question. Instead of asking if something is a sin, what every Christian should be asking is, “Is this holy?” You can ineffectively debate whether drinking is a sin, but when you ask the correct question of “Is drinking holy?” you get a clearer answer.

What about asking if this movie we are about to watch is holy?
Is what I’m about to say holy?
Is this relationship holy?
Is what I am doing holy?
And so on…

With the correct question, all of a sudden the perspective changes. It is easy to justify certain behavior when we approach it from a, “Is this really a sin?” attitude. However, if we approach our lifestyle, our conduct, our words, and our inner motives from the thought of, “Is this holy and pleasing to God?” it becomes impossible to justify those questionable activities.

I needed this reminder, because sometimes I do ask the wrong question. But as a child of God, I am called to examine my life.

“Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves,”2 Corinthians 13:5.

As a child of God I should ask the Lord to search my heart.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting,” Psalm 139:23-24.

As a child of God I should ask if I am living in obedience.

“As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy,” 1 Peter 1:14-16.

Lord, is my faith real? Lord, is there any wicked thing in me? Lord, am I living a holy life?  These are the correct questions! If we will just ask them, the answers will drive us to our knees and point us to God Almighty.

The Five Money Personalities & Book Give-a-Way

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moneyIn one way or another, money has an impact on a lot of decisions couples make together. Think about it. We often ask these questions: How much is it going to cost? Can we afford it? How much should we give? Will we go into debt? How can we get out of debt? Is it on sale? Will I get a pay raise or bonus? Should we eat at home or can we afford to go out? Will we shop at the mall or second hand stores? How much will we spend on our child’s birthday?
I would also say that money attributes to a lot of fights that couples have and in some cases even divorce. But, money is not bad in itself. It is the love of money that is the root of all evil, not money. However, wouldn’t it be great if we could live without the hassle of dealing with it? Unfortunately, we can’t.
Since we have to deal with money, it is wise to know what type of money personalities each of us have. Money personality? Yes, you have one. We all do. I recently read a book called The Five Money Personalities by Scott & Bethany Palmer. This money couple has dedicated their lives to helping other strengthen their relationships. With 43 years of combined financial planning experience, they launched “The Money Couple” and are regulars on national TV and radio and speak internationally about love and money.
The Five Money Personalities is an interesting book that explains the money personalities that each of us have. You and I are Spenders, Savers, Security Seekers, Risk Takers, or Flyers. More than likely, we are a combination of personalities. This book is not about money management or how to get out of debt. It’s all about relationships. I like that the focus is on the heart of the matter. It had practical advice on talking with your spouse about money and overcoming many money issue snares.
Interested in learning your money personality? Take this short online quiz here. If you want to read the book, leave a comment below and I’ll choose one person on February 1st to receive a new copy of The Five Money Personalities.

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.
(1Ti 6:10-11)

money couple

Disclaimer:   I received a copy of this book to review in exchange for an honest product review.   I do not receive any other form of compensation for the reviews posted on this blog.