The Fallacy and Reality of Submission

“We are leaving the church.”  The comment was made to my husband who is also the pastor of our church.  The reason given for this couple leaving was that his preaching and teaching regarding women was chauvinistic.  When my husband asked them if they would like to see in Scripture where his teaching came from the wife’s reply was, “You can show me, but that will not change my mind.”  After showing her and her husband several passages, their response was that these verses were written thousands of years ago and do not apply to modern society.

Unfortunately, our culture confuses and undermines womanhood and submission with damaging preconceived ideas.  From the moment a young lady is thrust into society she becomes indoctrinated with feministic teachings contrary to Scripture.  Screaming equality, their feminist philosophy holds to the view that “Anything a man can do, I can do better!”  Once more subtle, it has now become blatant. Too often we hear narcissistic phrases such as:  “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle” and “I like to think of ‘men’ as the diminutive of ‘women’”.  Perhaps the worse one of all is, “God is just an abbreviation for goddess.”   These catch phrases and slogans slowly and surely eat away at the foundation of biblical womanhood and seek to destroy society as a whole.

Consider these quotes.

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. – Isadora Duncan

Women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their oppressors. – Evelyn Cunningham

I ask no favors for my sex…. All I ask of our brethren is that they will take their feet from off our necks.-  Sarah Moore Grimké

As the radical feminist movement spreads throughout our country, the marks of distinction are no longer clear.  Once stood the ungodly, man-hating, ferocious feminist on one side and the Bible believing, meek, and quiet woman on the other.  But regrettably over the last couple of generations, as professing Christians continue to embrace the world; these two groups are slowly evolving together into what we see today.   You see, the thought that teaching on submission is chauvinistic and that Paul’s writings are not relevant did not come from the world and those outside the church.  These thoughts were voiced by professing Christians within the church.

These are just a few of the modern fallacies of submission being spouted.  Another misconception is that if a woman submits to her husband she becomes a doormat to be abused and walked all over.  The worldly belief is that submission lowers a woman’s worth and that it makes a woman subordinate to man.  All of these ideals are false.  However, we cannot ignore this philosophy and the agenda that is being pushed upon Christians today.  Because there is no such thing as amoral education, we must address the fact that the majority of children are being educated on the foundation of humanistic and secular teaching.  Even children that are being educated on Christian principles are exposed to secular beliefs about manhood, womanhood, and marriage via music, television, books, and society.  If not correctly taught, these children will grow into adults who continue to pass along their misconceptions.

How do we expose the fallacies?  It begins and ends with truth.  So let’s take a look at the realities of submission.  The first thing to recognize is that submission is for Christians.  We falsely assume that the non-believer should follow the dictates of Scripture.  While perhaps they should follow scripture, in truth they cannot.  “But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them…,”1 Corinthians 2:14.  God designed marriage.  We see where He ordained it and the structure of it in Genesis chapter two.  Adam is created and is given a job to do and a law to keep.  God then looks out and for the first time says that something is not good.  “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him,” Genesis 2:18.  Eve is made from the rib of Adam and brought to him by God.   Here is the institution of marriage.  Then in Ephesians 5 we are given the directives for the Christian marriage.   “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,” Ephesians 5:22-26. Submission is “as unto the Lord”.  An unbelieving wife cannot properly submit to her husband because she has not submitted her life to the Lord, just as an unbelieving husband cannot properly love his wife because he has not submitted to the Lord.

Now that the foundation has been laid that submission is only possible for the saved, let’s look at it through the eyes of a believer.  Submission is a beautiful term that we should hold dear.  It is through submission to Christ and as Lord of our life that we are saved.  James 4:7 declares “Submit yourselves therefore to God.”  As we saw in Ephesians 5, a wife’s submission to her husband is “unto the Lord”.  In the same way, a child’s submission to the parent’s is in the Lord (Ephesians 6:1-3).  Likewise, believers are told to submit to those in biblical authority (Hebrews 13:17) and those in authority over us such as our government (Romans 13:1, 1 Peter 2:13).  In general, we are to submit to and prefer one another in a spirit of humility (Romans 12:10, 1 Peter 5:5, Ephesians 5:21).  Submission is a part of the believer’s life.

In addition, submission in the biblical marriage portrays to the world a picture of Christ and His bride. “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing,” Ephesians 5:24.  Just as the church is subject unto Christ, so is the wife to her own husband.  When the Christian wife is not submissive, she is showing the world a distorted depiction of Christ and the church.

 Submission in no way lowers a woman’s worth and makes her subordinate to man.  Christianity, in fact, raises women to a level of honor.  “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered,”  1Peter 3:7.  The “weaker vessel” implies a more delicate or precious vessel, as in a priceless crystal vase.  She is not common but something rare to be held in high regard.   It is made clear that the husband and wife are “heirs together of the grace of life”.  Man and woman are equal in God’s eyes (Galatians 3:28).  But that does not mean they have the same roles.  Society understands this in every instance until it comes to biblical marriage.  For example, the Governor of your state and his assistant are both created equal as human beings.  However, it would be foolish to assume that because of their equality they should have the same role in government.  As a person, the owner of a corporation and a day laborer are both equal.  But it is easy to see and accept the structure of authority when it comes to the workplace.  Likewise, there is a structure of authority in the home, but the enemy seeks to distort it.

What about the ideal that Paul was a chauvinist?  What about the statement that these verses were written thousands of years ago and not relevant to modern society?  First, as believers we must accept that “all scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness,” 2 Timothy 3:16.  It is an error to pick and choose which verses we want to apply.  If we are going to throw out scripture based on when it was written we would have to disregard the entire Bible.  That would include cherished verses like John 3:16.  So the age of Paul’s writings is an invalid point.  Secondly, Paul’s teaching is not based on cultural customs but on God’s design.  The example Paul gives in I Timothy for women’s role is not a cultural one.  He goes all the way back to creation and the structure of authority in the marriage (I Timothy 2:13-14).  In Ephesians we see the mystery of marriage revealed.  “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church,” Ephesians 5:32.  Again, it is all by God’s design.

Now that the fallacies have been exposed and the realities declared, where will you stand?  Will you stand on God’s Word and the beauty of His plan for marriage or will you stand on the emotions and opinions of the world?  Here is the amazing reality of absolute truth.  You can accept the truth or reject the truth, but you cannot change the truth.  As a Christian woman, you have an awesome opportunity to illustrate the truths of biblical womanhood and submission.  It is a beautiful thing.  It is God ordained.  And it makes for a great, God-honoring marriage.

The Submissive Husband

Is your husband submissive? Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? I believe that every wife wants a submissive husband. I know that I do and I’m thankful for mine. While society likes to think of it as such, submission is not an ugly term. However, before the feminist get too excited, let me clarify that I am not talking about some distorted view of manhood and marriage. As a woman, let me say that there is nothing more appalling than a weak and fragile, “Yes Dear, whatever you say” type of husband. Men are designed to be men. They are created to be leaders. Simplistic, I know, but so true. So, what I am talking about is a husband who is submissive to biblical authority.

Authority is a large part of everyone’s life. We are always under some type of authority. Children must learn to submit to the authority of their parents. Wives must learn to submit to the authority of their own husbands. Husbands must learn to submit to the authority in the workplace, church authority, and governmental authority. All believers must submit to God’s authority. Even unbelievers will one day submit. “For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God,” Romans 14:11. (Sadly, by the time an unbeliever learns to submit to God’s absolute authority it will be too late for them.)

Submission is a reality of life. It is one that has been under attack since the beginning of time. Today we see unnecessary heartache because of the lack of understanding of biblical authority. There are miserable parents who have failed to teach this truth to their children and who are reaping the consequences. The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. (Pro 29:15) There are husbands and wives who are struggling in their marriage because they have never been taught proper authority or have simply chosen to ignore it. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Eph 5:24-25) There are churches that are spiritually dying due to sin in the camp and a refusal to lovingly establish the authority of church discipline. Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump? Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened… (1Co 5:6-7a) There are pastors who struggle in leadership because they have not taught their flock to “obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you,” Hebrews 13:17. Untold numbers of boys and girls live in daily turmoil at home, in school, and with society because no one taught them the truth. Thousands of men and women are in prison today because they did not submit to proper authority. Do you see the importance of biblical authority?

For the believer in Christ, submission is essential. James 4:7 says to, “Submit yourselves therefore to God.” It is through submission to Christ, as Lord and Master, that we are saved. As a Christian wife, Ephesians 5:24 states that your submission to your husband beautifully illustrates the submission of the church to Christ. When we as believers fail to submit to our husband we demonstrate to the world a distorted and pathetic portrait of Christ and His holy bride. This is one of the reasons that having a husband that is submissive to Christ is so important. Christian wives must submit to their husband in order to be obedient to the Lord. The command to submit is not circumstantial. As stated in I Peter 3:1, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.” However, it is a lot easier to submit to a husband who is submitting to Christ and following Him.

Is your husband submissive? I hope so. It makes for a glorious marriage. If not, Christian wife, keep praying for your husband. Love him and still submit to him. Win him over with your lifestyle. Have a quiet and meek spirit. Let him see your loving heart and good works. And watch and see what the Lord will do in your marriage!

“For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.”(2Ch 16:9)

The Daughters of Sarah

sadShe was a beautiful lady and well dressed but her eyes were so sad. “Can I ask you something?” she said. It was after I had finished speaking at an Apples of Gold ladies conference at our church that she approached me. “My husband portrays himself as a godly spiritual leader when we are at church but at home he is a different man. Am I still to submit to a hypocritical husband?” We talked for several minutes. I shared with her some Bible verses and ended saying, “Yes, we are to submit as unto the Lord. Scripture does not say we are only to submit to a perfect husband.” I explained to her that submission was easy when your husband was a godly man who strived to do with will of God and to love you as he should. But an ungodly man was no excuse for unsubmission. “Remember,” I said, “You will be accountable to the Lord for your obedience not your husbands.” After a few more minutes, she left with a glimmer of hope in those once sad eyes. I’ll probably never meet her again but have often wondered about this dear lady. Has she been obedient to the Scriptures in spite of her husband’s faults? Has God worked on her husband’s heart?

As heartbreaking as it is it happens often. You will have a wife who greatly desires to follow the Lord in submission to her husband. But he is either unsaved or simply does not obey the Word. Listen to what 1 Peter 3:1-6 says about this very thing, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”

Do you remember the story of Sarah and Abraham? Two times her husband put her in a dangerous situation by asking her to lie about their relationship. Once in Genesis 12 and then in Genesis 20 Abraham, because of fear, told his wife to say that she was Abraham’s sister causing her to be taken from him. “Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” If you will read the story you will learn that God protected Sarah in her obedience. And, God dealt with Abraham in his foolishness. Ladies, as hard as it is we must never forget that our submission is “unto the Lord.” Biblical submission is such a beautiful thing. Without submitting myself to Christ I could never be saved. Without submitting myself to my husband I could never be in the will of God. My husband and I have grown a lot in this area. He has not always loved me as he should and I have not always submitted as I should but can I tell you that the more we have grown in obedience to Scriptures that the easier it becomes. When I submit to my husband it is a lot easier for him to love me as Christ loves the Church. And when he loves me this way it is a lot easier to submit.

One of the best sermons on submission that I have ever heard is by S.M. Davis called “The 7-fold Power of a Wife’s Submission.” It will bless your heart. Go to http://www.biblepreaching.com to hear it.