Category: Children

Pajama Day

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Years ago when Aaron was a toddler and Abigail a baby, Dana was involved in youth ministry and working at Coca-Cola and I had my embroidery business.  After Christmas we found ourselves exhausted.  For 6 weeks we went nonstop.   There were Christmas parties, shopping, programs, caroling, baking, and visiting.  We were both overwhelmed in our work and feeling drained. It was that year in January that we decided to have a “Pajama Day”.  For those who have never heard of such a thing let me explain what a “Pajama Day” means to us.   On this day our family does not leave the house.  We unplug the phone.  We read books, play games together and watch movies.  This is a day of complete rest.  On this day we talk about the upcoming year and our goals individually and as a family.  For those of you who know my husband you must know how hard this was for him.  He likes to be productive and sitting at home all day in his pajamas does not seem very productive.  But that year in January began one of our favorite traditions and has continued each year since.  It is because we have come to realize how important it is to slow down every now in then.  It’s important to revaluate our lives and it’s important to not be so B.U.S.Y. (Bound Under Satan’s Yoke) We’re a close family and it’s Pajama Day’s, family devotions, family activities and family ministries that keep us close.  Families need to spend time together. Remember there are several simple things you can do as a family to remain close.  Statistics show over and over again that children from families that eat meals together are healthier, happier and better students.  We always say that the biggest room in our home is the room for improvement.  Is there something you can do to improve your families relationship?  Remember, the family is important.  After all it was the first institution that God established here on earth. (Genesis 2:24)

 

My love for you is like the laundry…….

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My sister called me the other day and asked what I was doing.  My reply was, “the laundry”.    To which she responded with, “You’re always doing the laundry when I talk to you.”  “Yes” , I told her,   “Sometimes it seems like that’s all that I do.”   Since we’ve moved to the coast and because of the heat and humidity it’s not unusual for my family to change clothes several times a day, especially if they’ve been outside.   That particular day I had just finished 3 loads of laundry and had ironed 15 dress shirts and 11 pairs of pants.  Did I mention that I don’t like doing laundry?  I’ve never liked doing laundry and I use to make sure my family knew it.  Look at poor me….having to do all the work.  My martyrs’ complex was rather pathetic.  Thankfully, several years ago God worked on my heart.  Oh, I still do the laundry but my attitude has changed.  God reminded me in His Word that my service to others is service to Him.  When I serve my family in His name and with joy in my heart, my family is blessed, I am a witness to the world and God receives honor and glory.   His Word tells us in Colossians 3:17 that whatever we do in word or deed we should do in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.  That means not only our actions but also our words.  It’s hard to give thanks to God when I’m complaining about housework. 

One summer Dana and I had five foster children in our home in addition to our three children.  We had eight children under the age of eleven.  Needless to say, it was a busy time in our lives.  Since it was summer, we were home all day long.  So, we unplugged the TV, went and bought all the children bicycles and planted a garden and flower beds that summer.  The children would come in extremely hungry and dirty.   It seemed as though I fixed breakfast, cleaned up, fixed lunch, cleaned up and then it was time to start dinner.  But, as much cooking as I did it wasn’t near as bad as all the laundry.  I had never seen such dirty clothes!  I had two choices  –  I could do all this work grudgingly or I could shine with the light of Christ while doing the work, either way it still had to be done.  So, I choose to have a good attitude, smile at my family and enjoy the work.  That was the summer that I coined the phrase, “Dana, my love for you is like the laundry – IT’S NEVERENDING!”

Moldy bread and teaching moments

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“Mom, why can’t I go and see that movie?  Everyone else is seeing it!”  Aaron asked one day.  We were in Arkansas and I was driving him to Fun City to meet one of his friends.  He was munching on a sandwich that he had made at his grandparents.   His father and I have had this conversation with him many times before but nevertheless I tried to explain our position again.  “Aaron,”  I explained, “it matters what we put into our mind.  We’ve done the reviews and although this movie isn’t as bad as most it still has some questionable things in it.”  “But Mom,” he said, “it won’t influence me.  It’s just one or two bad words.”   Sensing I was beginning to lose patience I shot up a quick prayer for heavenly wisdom.   A few minutes later as he was finishing up his sandwich I asked him if it was good.   To which he replied that it was great.  “So,”  I said, “it didn’t bother you that one side was moldy?”   “Yes!  Gross, I can’t believe that I ate moldy bread!  Wait a minute, you knew about it and didn’t tell me?”  He asked.  To which I replied, “Sure I knew about it, but it was just a little mold.  What’s the big deal?  The rest of the sandwich was fine, right?”  At this point I would have loved to have had a camera for the look on his face was priceless.  “No,” he said, “The rest of the sandwich was not fine!”  “But, isn’t that the same thing as the movie with just a few bad words?  You didn’t have any problems wanting to put that into your mind.”  I explained.  “In fact, it seems to me that it’s worse than the moldy bread because food comes into your body and leaves but what we put into our mind stays, goes into our heart and makes us who we are.” 

 

I hope and pray that he finally understood.  As a mother it’s important that we seize these teaching moments with our children and then pray that God will bless our efforts so that “the father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.” (Pro 23:24-25)

 

“Mom,” Aaron asked a few minutes later, “that bread didn’t really have mold on it did it?”

 

 

Making Christmas Meaningful

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The one theme throughout the entire Bible is relationships, our relationship with God and our relationship with others.   There is no better time to develop these relationships than during the Christmas Season.  And as parents, there is no better time to teach your children this important lesson.  Too many children tend to have a selfish attitude when it comes to Christmas and too many parents play right along with them, even encouraging them toward this.  How many times have you seen a child produce a mile-long wish list for themselves?   The Christian life should be a selfless life that gives to others, not one that says “ME, ME, ME”.  Instead of making a Christmas wish list, something that we have taught our children to do is to make a “wish list” of what they would like to buy for others.  This takes the focus off of them and puts it on those around them.   A child is never too young to learn this godly principle.   For several years now each year at Thanksgiving my parents have given to each of their grandchildren a gift of money.  They are told that this money can be used for anything they want as long as it’s used for someone else.  My children have been very creative in how they spend their money.  We have made gift bags and spent the day at a nursing home giving them out.  We have given gifts to the elderly at our church.  The kids one year picked a lonely neighbor to give gifts too.  We’ve given to foster children and to children in Homes.  Every year we pick a different project and every year we are blessed beyond measure.  It truly is “more blessed to give than receive.”  My all-time favorite tradition our family does is the celebration of Advent.  Advent is a threefold celebration of the birth of Jesus, His eventual second coming to earth, and His continued presence in our lives here and now – God in our past, God in our future, and God in our present.  For us we set aside a time each day from Thanksgiving to Christmas to center our thoughts on Jesus.  It’s a time of family worship, a time of reflection, and a time of focus.  In the midst of December’s commotion and stress, it’s a few moments to stop and renew our strength from the only One who can provide true strength.  Each night before the children goes to bed we light candles and they gather around while Dana reads a story, he then shares scripture and then we sing a song and pray.  Once we start getting Christmas Cards in the mail we will use this time to have a special prayer for those who sent them.  Whatever Christmas traditions you decide to make just be sure to make some.  It’s the most wonderful time of the year for your family to develop a closer relationship with our Heavenly Father and then with others.

I don’t like my kids!

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Have you ever heard this statement?  Maybe parents don’t voice their opinion out loud about not liking their children but you can see it in their faces.  They scream at, talk down to and frown when speaking to their children.  Their children in return are unruly, loud, obnoxious, disrespectful and rude.  No one likes being around these kids, including their own parents.  Sure they “love” their children  –  they just don’t like them.

 

Although it’s rare, there are even days that my children are not very likable.  On these days they might fuss and fight with each other, wake up grouchy, or be disobedient and dishonoring.  I could throw my hands up and say, “Oh well, kids will be kids.”   Or, I could point my fingers at the person to blame  –  me!  It’s my job as a parent to train my children.  My children’s behavior is a direct reflection of my training.  A parent will reap what they sow.  A two year old who is a terror without intervention will become a 12 year old terror.  And no one thinks that is cute.  “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”  (Pro 29:15)

 

When I allow my children to disobey me I’m training them to grow up to disobey God.  A child that is rebellious towards authority will grow up to be rebellious towards the ultimate Authority.  If I say, “  Come here!  1…2…3….”  I’m training my child to be disobedient.  I’m saying to them by my actions, “It’s ok to not obey me the first time.”  When I accept delayed obedience I’m training them to be dishonoring.  It’s takes a lot of work to train a child.   It is a work in progress.  A parent who is following the Biblical guidelines will have to daily train and teach their children.  When we fail to sow good seeds we automatically sow bad seeds.

 

As parents, Dana and I have talked about our goals in raising our children.  Our greatest desire is to train our children to grow up to be adults who please the Lord.  We want them to become adults who walk by God’s standards.  We want them to live in obedience.  There is no greater joy than that!  As our Heavenly Father, God never lowers His standards.  God never compares His children to the world’s children.  God shows mercy and is always just.  He is constantly training and those He loves He chastens.  And, He never throws His hands up in the air and says, “Oh well, children will be children.”

 

 

Growing Up

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“Mommy, what did you want to be when you grew up?”  Andrew asked one day while playing with toys in the floor.  This one question started an exchange of ideas between my boys.  That particular week Aaron wanted to be a Biblical Archeologist and Andrew wanted to be a FBI agent.   As mothers do, I started pondering.  What was it I wanted my boy to be when they grew up?  Sure, every mother wants the best for her children.  Did I want them to get a good college education?  Did I want them to have a successful, good paying career?  Did I want them to have a beautiful wife, 2.5 children, a dog, two-story home, and luxury cars and take extravagant vacations?  If my standards were based on the world I would be saying, Yes, Yes, and Yes!   But as I searched my heart I had to admit that these things were not my deepest desires for my boys.  You see, my desire is not for my boys to live for this world (I Jn 2:15).  I don’t want my boys to try and get all they can here on earth (Matt. 6:24).  I don’t want them laying up treasures here where moth and rust corrupts and thieves break through and steal (Matt. 6:19).  What I truly want for my boys is for them to love God above all, for loving God is the only thing that will bring true peace. I want them to follow Him and His leading wherever that takes them.  I want my boys to grow up to fear God.  For the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.  I want my boys to become Godly men who calls evil by its name and stands up for what’s right.  I want my boys to become hard workers who realize that all they do is for God’s glory.  I want my boys to grow up and marry godly women who love the Lord.  I want them to know that it is their job as men to be the provider for their family.  I want my boys to lead their families physically and most importantly spiritually.  I want them to raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  When my boys grow up I want them to be as the godly man in Psalm 1, for this man is blessed.  This is my desire for my boys.

 

As Christians, we can all say that our standards should not be set based on the world but upon God and His Word.  Parents, we need to have Biblical standards for our children.  Our children should grow up to be loving, peaceful, kind, tenderhearted, forgiving, pure and holy. This is true for all of us.  So to answer that question, what did I want to be when I grew up?  Well son, I’m still growing!

God’s Blessings….NO THANK YOU!

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Yesterday, I heard the statement that “Christianity in America is dying one home at a time.”  From the same man I heard him say, “Yes, we want our country to be Christian, we just don’t want to birth, raise, and train children to be Christians.”  The sermon I heard made me think.  Was this just this one man’s opinion or could it be backed by the Word of God?  So I went to the Source of all knowledge, the Holy Bible. 

“Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.” (Psa 127:1-5)  When I took the time to put this verse in context it really spoke to my heart.  First of all, unless the Lord is the foundation of our homes and cities, all is in vain.  Secondly, God will send blessings through having children.  Thirdly, through having many children we will overcome enemies.  Since this subject was on my heart I took some time and did some research on birthrates.  What I found was astonishing.  Here is America for the first time our replacement level of 2.1 is lower than our fertility rate of 1.9.  Please understand this  –  the Christians in America are not having enough children and the ones we do have are not staying in the faith.  Depending upon which statistic you look at the failure rate is 70-80%.  In addition, the Jewish community is dying. One article said that “low fertility and high intermarriage are pushing American Jewry toward extinction.”    What we have done is mocked the blessings of God.  We have said that we want the prosperity this world has to offer more than we want the blessings of God.  God told Adam, Noah, Abraham, Jacob and all the children of Israel to “be fruitful and multiply” throughout Scripture.  God said that He would bless his people through their offspring.  I could not find anywhere in Scripture that said once the world’s population reached a certain number we should stop having children.  Nor, could I find anywhere that said that since it is so expensive to raise children that we should only have a few.  All I could find was that God is Jehovah Jireh, the Provider and that having children was a blessing from Him.   So whatever view we have about children if it is contrary to the Bible it is a false world view.  That’s a hard statement to say, because I’ve had this worldly view myself.  Only through searching the Scriptures has God opened by eyes to His glorious truth.

 

Just a note….there is one group in the world that has a grasp on the truths that children are a blessing.  The Muslims have a fertility rate of 6 children per woman.  I read one article, Muslim birthrate worries Russia (www.wwrn.org) that declared the national fertility rate in Russia is 1.28 children per women far below what was needed to maintain the countries population.  However, with the Muslim fertility rate of 6 by sheer numbers alone in a few generations the country will be entirely Muslim.  The same thing is happening in France and America is not far behind.  Should we be surprised when we laugh at God and mock His Word?  God help us when we despise His blessings!

 

 

Ambulances, Fire Trucks, and Prayers

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And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. (Deu 6:7)

As Christian parents one of the greatest responsibilities given to us is the spiritual training of our children.   I realize that God ultimately holds my husband accountable for the family but my role as his wife is to come along beside him in the training of our children.  I’m to be his help meet in all areas including our children’s spiritual upbringing.  Giving our children a Christian education or making sure they are at church each Sunday will not be enough.  Many children who do not see the Christian faith lived out daily will not be grounded in sound doctrine; they will be tossed to and fro and carried away. (Eph 4:14)  These children will grow up resenting their Christian heritage.  Instead of looking to Christ as their supreme example they will use the hypocrisy of others as a stumbling block.  As a mother it is imperative that our children see our faith as real.  If we tell them to honor their parents yet we speak dishonoring of our own parents we are hurting our children’s faith.  If we tell them to love their brothers and sisters, yet they hear us talking in a negative light about our brothers and sisters in Christ, we are hurting our children’s faith.  If we tell our children that we should submit to Christ, yet they do not see us submissive to our husbands, we are hurting our children’s faith. If we tell our children that going to church is important yet they see us make excuses for our unfaithfulness, we are hurting our children’s faith.  If we tell them to forgive others yet we hold grudges in our own hearts, we are hurting our children’s faith.  If we tell them to respect authority yet we have a rebellious attitude toward those in authority we are hurting our children’s faith.  Being a mother comes with a lot of responsibility.  Being a Christian mother comes with even more.  So, how do we live out a life of faith so that we will point our children to Christ?  Deuteronomy 6:7 states that we are to be constantly teaching our children God’s law.  We should teach it to them when we get up, throughout the day, when we go to bed –  all the time.  In other words, teaching our children the ways of God should be a lifestyle.  A mother has many teachable moments with her children.  We can tell our children that we should pray for others but when we show our children they are impacted greater.  Many years ago when Aaron was very young we taught him that when an ambulance or fire truck passed us on the road we should pray for all the people involved.  Now, it has become a habit within our family.  We pray that God will watch over the workers, bless those who are hurt and most importantly that God will use the situation to draw people to Him.  This is a small teachable moment.  Several months ago after praying for an ambulance, our children later learned that they had been praying for Johnny and Barbara after their car accident.  God used this simple act of prayer to encourage and strengthen our family.  If we will look around with a pure heart we can see God in every moment of our day.  Then as we take those moments and teach our children, showing them God’s Word and living it out, our children will be pointed in the right direction and our homes will be homes of peace, joy and love.

A letter to my daughter

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Dearest Daughter,

 

One of the highest callings in life is that of a mother.  It comes with great joy and incredible responsibilities.  When God gave you to me, He gave me a most precious gift.  You are a joy and delight.  When you smile your sweet countenance spreads light throughout the room.  You can but laugh and turn sorrow into joy.  You are a treasure and your calm disposition brings peace to our home.  I realize that I only have a few years in which to teach and train you to become a virtuous young lady of highest character but that is my desire.  Daughter, there are many things I want you to know.  First of all know that I love your father.  Next to Christ he is my dearest friend.  Every night as I pray for you, my prayer is that someday God will bring a godly young man into your life that is just like your father.   I pray you discover early on in your marriage your God given role as wife and that you will embrace it with joy.  Secondly, I want you to know that children are a blessing from God.  In today’s society children seem to be nothing more than a burden to many in which to cast off on someone else.  You and your brothers are a joy and I thank God daily for each of you.  I praise Him for the opportunity that He has given your father and me to raise you.  I want you to know that we will do our best to raise you not by the world’s standards but by God’s standards alone.  The world says you must be beautiful on the outside; that your value is based on how you look and dress.  God says that your value is based on who you are.  True beauty comes from within and God’s standard is one of purity.  I want you to know that the most important thing in this life is relationships, first and foremost, your relationship with God.  Only in Christ will you find complete fulfillment.  Your life will be void if you look to any other.  Secondly is your relationship with others.  Never miss opportunities to love your family, to build and cultivate friendships and to reach out with kindness to strangers.  For it is in loving and serving others that Christ will be glorified.  Finally, I want you to know that no matter what stage of life you are in and no matter what you find yourself doing, make sure that it is for God’s glory.  If you’re being educated, learn with the desire to use your gifts to please God.  If you’re working, whatsoever your hands find to do, do all for the glory of God.  If you’re serving others, do it to point others to Christ.  Remember, you have purpose, no matter your age or station in life God has a plan.  Seek Him with your whole heart and your life will be complete.  You will have joy unspeakable.   Know that I will make mistakes and sometimes fail you but I pray with all my heart that my words and actions as your mother are that in which you can look to as a godly example.

 

I love you daughter.

Your mother