Tag: love

A Letter to My Daughter

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I wrote this letter when my daughter was 10 years old. Now that she is just a few days away from turning 18 I thought it was time to repost. I’m so proud of the young lady she has become. She shines with the love of Christ and she has my heart!

Dearmother and daugtherest Daughter,

 

 One of the highest callings in life is that of a mother.  It comes with great joy and incredible responsibilities.  When God gave you to me, He gave me a most precious gift.  You are a joy and delight.  When you smile your sweet countenance spreads light throughout the room.  You can laugh and turn sorrow into joy.  You are a treasure and your calm disposition brings peace to our home.  I realize that I only have a few years in which to teach and train you to become a virtuous young lady of highest character but that is my desire. 

 

 Daughter, there are many things I want you to know.  First of all, know that I love your father.  Next to Christ he is my dearest friend.  Every night as I pray for you, my prayer is that someday God will bring a godly young man into your life that mightily loves the Lord and deeply cherishes his wife, just like your father.   I pray you discover early on in your marriage your God given role as wife and that you will embrace it with joy. 

 

I want you to know that children are a blessing from God.  Today children seem to be nothing more than a burden to many in which to cast off on someone else.  You and your brothers are a joy and I thank God daily for each of you.  I praise Him for the opportunity that He has given your father and me to raise you.  I want you to know that we will do our best to raise you not by the world’s standards but by God’s standards alone.  The world says you must be beautiful on the outside and that your value is based on how you look and dress.  God says that your value is based on who you are.  True beauty comes from within and God’s standard is one of purity. 

 

 Never forget that the most important thing in this life are relationships. Your relationship with God is first and foremost.  Only in Christ will you find complete fulfillment.  Your life will be void if you look to any other.  Second is your relationship with others.  Never miss opportunities to love your family, to build and cultivate friendships, and to reach out with kindness to strangers.  For it is in loving and serving others that Christ will be glorified. 

 

 Finally, I want you to know that no matter what stage of life you are in and no matter what you find yourself doing, make sure that it is for God’s glory.  If you’re being educated, learn with the desire to use your gifts to please God.  If you’re working, whatsoever your hands find to do, do all for the glory of God.  If you’re serving others, do it to point others to Christ.  Remember, you have purpose; no matter your age or station in life God has a plan for you.  Seek Him with your whole heart and your life will be complete.  You will have joy unspeakable.   Know that I will make mistakes and sometimes fail you, but I pray with all my heart that my words and actions as your mother are that in which you can look to as a godly example.

 

 I love you sweet daughter.

 

Let’s talk about LOVE…

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lovestudy

By the middle of February some people are sick of hearing about romance, Valentine’s Day, gifts, cards, and even love. But can love be over-emphasized?  As believers in Christ we are to walk in love (Ephesians 5:2), be rooted and grounded in love (Ephesians 3:17), follow after love (I Timothy 6:11), and put on love (Colossians 3:12-14).   Can we talk about it too much?  Love is a consistent theme throughout the entire Word of God. The greatest command in all of scripture is to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul, and mind.  The second command is to love our neighbor as ourselves.  Jesus said that, “On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets,” Matthew 22:40.  To put it differently, the entire Bible can be summed up with love.

Love is a wonderful topic for study and February is a great time to gather your family up for such a study. A good place to start is with the writings of the Apostle John. Love envelops his epistles. In 1 John alone we see 46 different forms of the word love. Let me share just a few truths about love that adorn these inspired epistles.

  • God is love. (1 John 4:8)

  • We cannot truly love until we know God. (1John 4:7-8a)

  • We love Him because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

  • There is no fear in love. (1 John 4:18)

  • There are certain things that God does not want us to love. (1 John 2:15)

  • Love and truth go hand in hand. (1 John 3:18, 2 John 1:1-3, 3 John 1:1)

  • If you love God you will love God’s children. (1 John 3:11, 3:14, 3:23, 4:7, 4:21, 5:2)

  • God demonstrates His love through His actions. (1 John 4:9-10)

  • We demonstrate our love for God through our actions. (1 John 2:5, 1 John 5:3, 2 John 1:6)

  • We demonstrate our love for others through our actions. (1 John 3:16-17)

If you would like an additional resource for personal use or to use with your family consider getting a copy of Love: A verse by verse study through the Epistles of John. It is a study that dives into the deep truths of God and His great love.

Loving Your Spouse in Deed & Truth

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loveDid you know that in 1st John we see 46 different forms of the word love?  I have been teaching through this book to our ladies during our Monday night Bible study.  Love envelops the Epistles of John.  It not only adorns this book, but is a consistent theme throughout the entire Word of God.

 We have been learning that love is more than an emotion. While emotion is attached to love, it is in actuality an act of the will. We choose to love. And while a person wants to be told they are loved; they want to be shown even more. Therefore, true love is active, not passive.  We are told in 1 John 3:18, “Let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.” So let’s take a look at what loving our spouse in deed and truth looks like. (With special thanks to my husband who has written the part for men.)

 Wife

 My husband says that most men are fairly easy to please. They basically need three things – food, sex, and respect (and not necessarily in that order). While this may be true and is certainly a good starting point, there are many ways a wife can show love on a daily basis. The way you show your husband love will probably look different than the way I show my husband love. So do not use the below list as an excuse for falling into the trap of comparison. This is always detrimental to a marriage. Instead, use these suggestions as a means of sparking your creative imagination and love your husband in a way that makes him see the truth in Proverbs 18:22. “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”

  • Create an atmosphere of peace in the home.

  • Pray for his life and success daily.

  • Help him maintain male friendships by allowing him time away with the boys.

  • When he has had a hard day, romance him in the evening.

  • Praise him in public.

  • Save money in a jar and buy him something he really wants.

  • Build him up in the eyes of your children. Make him their greatest hero.

  • When he asks you to do something, do it with pleasure.

  • Support his life ambitions in both word and deed.

  • Fix his favorite meal or dessert on occasion.

  • Don’t complain.

  • Be quick to say I’m sorry and even quicker to forgive.

  • Be a woman he can trust. Don’t share more than you should with others.

  • When he arrives home from work, allow him some quiet time before discussing the day.

  • Maintain your health and beauty.

  • Pray for his weaknesses, praise his strengths.

  • Put your husband before your children and make sure he knows that he will always hold that place.

  • Always express thankfulness for all he does for your family whether it is big or small.

  • The next time you are tempted to usurp his authority, don’t.

  • Surround yourself with friends who want to see your marriage last and listen to them.

  • Speak kindly and watch the tone of your voice. Avoid being loud or whiny.

  • Be there in his hour of need.

  • Be content with what you have, not always demanding more.

  • Be slow to speak and quick to listen.

  • Drop an encouraging note or scripture in his lunch or brief- case.

  • Send romantic texts (just make sure it goes to the right person).

  • Treat him with respect and teach the children to do the same.

  • Begin each day with a hug. End each night with a kiss.

  • Add to this list continually.

Husband

Husbands before you read the list below, prayerfully consider that your wife is a precious vessel in which to treasure and that this list is not a checklist to say, “Okay I have done my part”, but a guide to help reaffirm her as your “help meet.” She was created from the man, not from his head to rule over him, nor from his foot to be subjugated by him, but from his side to be his close ally and trusted confidant.  As her husband the Bible commands you to “wash her with the water of the word” this means to speak into her life and help her live through the scriptures you share with her day by day. The word husband is the word used to be a dresser of vines, one who cultivates and not that of dictator or tyrant. You are her spiritual head and it is your loving obligation to lead her into the truth of God’s Word together. Now consider some of the following to help strengthen her first, and your own position of authority second:

  •  After the kids are in bed, slow dance by candlelight or firelight.

  • Do something around the house that your wife usually does.

  • Take up a new hobby or interest together or share those you already have.

  • Praise your wife in front of the children.

  • Be trustworthy.

  • Pray with and for your wife.

  • Exercise together.

  • Be the Spiritual leader you are called to be by reading scripture together.

  • Let her talk.  Be slow to speak, quick to listen.

  • Keep pictures of your family in your wallet or around the office.

  • Be the sole provider for your family.

  • Schedule a monthly (or weekly, if possible) date with your wife.

  • Write her love letters.

  • Fill her car up with gas when it’s low.

  • Make your anniversary very special.

  • Send her flowers on your children’s birthdays.

  • Encourage her to spend time with godly women.

  • Always express thankfulness for all she does for the family whether it is big or small.

  • Use physical affection often -a hand on the shoulder, neck rub, stroke on the cheek, etc.

  • Watch the tone of your voice. Be kind, don’t yell.

  • Always forgive.

  • Be a good father to your children.

  • Let her sleep in occasionally and serve her favorite breakfast in bed.

  • Add to this list continually.

Note: Looking for a study on love from 1st John? Click here for a verse by verse study for women through the Epistles of John.

Stingrays and Evangelism

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stingrayLast month, while vacationing in Orange Beach, I saw more stingrays than I’ve ever seen. One evening, just before dark, my son had one swim right beside him. Aaron didn’t like being that close to one so he got out. The next evening when we went back to the beach, he had no desire to get back in the water.

“Come on Aaron, the chances of seeing another stingray is slim,” I told him as I waded out into the water.

It wasn’t five minutes later when another one came along and swam between us. This time I got out of the water before he could. I know for the most part that stingrays are not that dangerous, but I did not want to take a chance of accidently stepping on one half-buried in the sand. Many people have been hurt by doing just that. (And in some rare incidences, stingrays can cause an even worse fate such as in the case of Steve Irwin.)

There were not a lot of people out, but there was one little boy playing in the water next to us. His parents were on the beach watching him. I decided to tell them about the stingray so they could decide if they wanted him to stay in the water. It turned out that they didn’t.  That evening before going in, we counted nearly a dozen stingrays.

So what does that have to do with evangelism?  Glad you asked! Let me explain.

I knew there was a potential danger in the water. So, not only did my family get out, but when I looked around and saw another person around I gave a warning. It was just a few stingrays and not that big of a deal, but I still took the time to warn them. Of course, the parents could have chosen to ignore my warning, but they didn’t.  My warning was just a polite and caring thing to do. Wouldn’t you do the same?

A few days after we get home from our vacation I’m reading in 2 Corinthians about Paul’s explanation of why he labors for the Lord.

“Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him.

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.

 Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men,” 2 Corinthians 5:9-11a.

Did you catch the reasons that Paul shares the gospel? There were three of them.

  • We want to be pleasing to the Father.
  • We will stand before God and answer for the things we have done.
  • We know about the coming judgment.

Let’s talk about the last one. “Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men.” I found it very easy to warn a family about a potential danger in the gulf shore waters. I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t worry that they might be offended. And I probably wouldn’t have taken it personal if they had ignored me. I simply warned them. And it only involved a few swimming creatures. But even the thought of potential harm coming to someone was enough to motivate me.

Why then do I find it so hard to warn people about the coming judgment of the Lord? Why does fear threaten me every time I want to share the gospel? We are not talking about potential harm coming to someone, but eternal death.

“It is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment,” Hebrews 9:27.

Every man, woman, and child will face death one day. All will stand before God. If they die in their sins, they will go to hell, a very real place. In fact, Jesus talked about hell more than He talked about heaven. And while most people live for the moment, the truth is that our lives are just a vapor.

The other day Ray Comfort, from the Way of the Master, posted on his Facebook page a sobering and truthful statement.

“I am both a coward and a hypocrite if I believe that the world is going to Hell, but fail to verbally warn them.”

“Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men.”

If I knew a young boy was playing in dangerous waters, would I warn him?

Only if I knew….and only if I cared……

If I knew a blind man was about to walk off a steep cliff, would I warn him?

Only if I knew….and only if I cared……

If I knew someone was about to drink mislabeled poison, would I warn him?

Only if I knew….and only if I cared……

If I knew a child was playing on a busy highway, would I warm him?

Only if I knew….and only if I cared……

If I knew that the world was dying in their sins and going to hell, would I warn them? If I knew that all would stand before the Lord who comes to judge the earth and the entire world with righteousness, would I warn them? If I knew the bad news, would I share the good news? Would I be motivated to share the truth…

Only if I knew….only if I cared…..only if I had a filial fear of the Lord…..only if I was not a coward or a hypocrite…..only if I truly loved others…..

Lord, my prayer is that I will always love others enough to warn them. Let me be one who cares enough about people to persuade them to come to You. Let me be moved with compassion toward lost souls enough to share the gospel. Help me to remember that love is not passive, nor is it in word alone, but in deed and in truth! For Your glory!

Mother, You Are Loved

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childBuying a present for my mother is almost impossible. She has everything she needs. She never wants anything new. And unless I get it 90% off, I feel like I’ve let her down. Okay, maybe I exaggerate a bit. But the truth is that I have hit the Outlets and the Landing this week looking for something to give my Mother for Mother’s Day and nothing seems right. I am empty handed and with Mother’s Day on Sunday, that is not a good thing.

She deserves much; I offer her little….a small part of myself…

My words…

My declaration…

My appreciation…

My love…

My thanks…

I do not tell her enough how much she means to me and everyone around her. I do not tell her enough that she is a good mother and that she makes a difference in this world. I do not tell her enough that by her example she has taught me many, valuable things.

Things like….

• a love for music
• the worth of family
• the importance of truth
• how to show forgiveness
• how to cook for my family
• how to clean and take care of a house
• how to be gracious and hospitable
• the value of hard work
• sacrificing for others
• caring for the lonely and elderly
• always being there for your children
• how to love your husband
• faithfulness to Christ and His church

I can only pray that I will be the same type of example to my own precious children.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! You are loved!

“Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her,” Proverbs 31:28.

* Update – My husband took me out to eat Chinese tonight and walking past a store I thought I would givce it one more try. And wouldn’t you know it, I just found the perfect gift! Feeling pretty good (and it was on sale)!

40 Things I Love About You

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It has been fun having my husband turn 40 this week (mostly because it wasn’t me). I’ve reminded him how “old” he has become. The children and I bought gag gifts. The church threw him a surprise party on Friday night. It’s been great, but time for fun is over. This is serious – 40 years!  So all joking aside, and in honor of husband’s birthday here are 40 Things I Love About You – Dana Williams!

1.) I am not #1 in your life.
2.) ….God is.
3.) You are a loving father.
4.) …and a fun dad.
5.) You are a student of the Word.
6.) You are a wonderful pastor.
7.) You give me gifts when I don’t deserve them.
8.) You give me gifts when I do…
9.) You make me smile.
10.) You make me cry.
11.) You make our daughter laugh.
12.) You make our boys strong.
13.) You bring out the best in people.
14.) You bring out the best in Otis (our demon dog).
15.) You stand when no one else will.
16.) You stand with those who stand on God’s Word.
17.) You have a heart for older people.
18.) You love babies and children.
19.) You love the truth.
20.) Your favorite movie is Pride & Prejudice.
21.) You’re not embarrassed to say that your favorite movie is Pride & Prejudice.
22.) You practice what you preach.
23.) You admit when you are wrong.
24.) You don’t pretend.
25.) You make me feel like a Queen.
26.) You are an excellent sock folder!
27.) You encourage me to write.
28.) You spiritually lead me and the children.
29.) You are one of the hardest workers I know.
30.) You read me to sleep.
31.) You make our date nights special.
32.) You take our daughter out on dates making her feel special.
33.) You wrestle with the boys.
34.) You cry when watching Fireproof & Courageous.
35.) You love to laugh.
36.) You make me want to be a better wife.
37.) You play Monopoly when you don’t want to.
38.) You know how to forgive.
39.) You know how to say, “I’m sorry!”
40.) You have bewitched me body and soul. I love, I love, I love you. Mr. Williams and I never wish to be parted from you from this day on!

14 Ways to Show Your Husband Respect (Part Two)

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part twoFold his eggs. Watch Finding Bigfoot with him. Write love notes and send sweet texts. These are ways to respect your husband. Click here to read Part One on 14 Ways to Show Your Husband Respect on Valentine’s Day.

Part Two continues:

Encourage the children to show honor to their father every day.

The first commandment with promise is “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee,” Deuteronomy 5:16. One of the best things you can do for your husband is to teach his children to honor him in attitude and action. Teaching this also greatly impacts your children. If we don’t teach them to honor their earthly father, they will have a hard time learning how to honor their Heavenly Father. A lack of proper respect and obedience for those in authority will transcend into a lack of proper respect and obedience for the Highest Authority – God Almighty.

Don’t nag.

The strongest man who ever lived was nagged so much, “that his soul was vexed unto death,” Judges 16:16. Don’t be a nagging wife. It is very disrespectful and is more annoying than a leaky roof. “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike,” Proverbs 27:15. Besides that, you will never change his heart or ways through nagging. Love him and win him over with a “meek and quiet spirit”, 1 Peter 3:4.

Smile at him often.

Have you ever seen a smiling face that was not beautiful? Smile at your husband and do it often. It will bless his heart. “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance,” Proverbs 15:13.

Pray for him daily.

Your husband carries a large load. He is responsible for his family physically and spiritually. He needs your prayers. It will strengthen your marriage and your love and respect for him. “Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;” Ephesians 6:18.

Take an afternoon nap.

One of my dearest friends gave my some advice years ago that has transformed my marriage. She said, “Take an afternoon nap so that when your husband comes home you will have energy left for him.” You know how tired and exhausted you are at the end of the day. And it is quite easy to use up all of your energy before he comes home, so save some energy for him. If that means taking a nap – DO IT! He doesn’t want your leftovers. Respect him enough to take care of your body. Trust me on this one!

Dress in a way that pleases him.

I have a white jacket that my husband hates. I like it, but for some reason it reminds him of the 80’s. The other day I put it on over a dress and when I asked how I looked he responded with “okay”. Because he is always kind and gracious with his compliments, I know that “okay” is code for “not so good.” So, I took it off. Thinking back even now, I am sure that all my friends would agree that the jacket looked great. But is that really the point? My husband doesn’t like it. I think I will go right now and put it in box marked Give-Away.

Make building a godly marriage a priority.

Your marriage is the most important earthly thing you can build. Make it lasting. Make it strong. Be a testimony to this lost world. It will take work no doubt, so be willing to work hard at building a godly marriage. “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD,” Proverbs 18:22. For more on building a godly marriage click here.

So there you have it. 14 Ways to Show Your Husband Respect on Valentine’s Day! Hope you enjoy it. Better yet, I hope your husband does! 😉

Many Blessings!

14 Ways to Show Your Husband Respect (Part One)

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heartFebruary 14th is a day of love and nothing speaks love to a husband like

R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

God knows the importance of respect in a marriage and reminds wives in Ephesians 5:33 “see that she reverence her husband.” Remember it isn’t about feelings or even because he deserves it. We respect our husbands because of their position in our marriage. The husband is the head of the wife. It’s not that he should be head, but that he is head, just as Christ is the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23).

Showing respect should be an everyday occurrence, and there is no time like Valentine’s Day to begin! Below are just a few practical ways to show reverence to your husband. Be creative, no two husbands are the same. However, I can confidently say that every husband wants respect.

Fold His Eggs. 

My husband loves eggs for breakfast and prefers them to be folded (like the eggs at McDonalds), not scrambled. It would be a lot quicker and easier to scramble eggs, but I take the time to fold them. Why? Because in preferring him, it shows that I love and respect his desires. Maybe your husband likes scrambled eggs; maybe he doesn’t like eggs at all. But I guarantee that he does have a favorite meal. Fix it for him and see his eyes light up!

Watch “Finding Bigfoot” with him.

I hate that show! I feel stupid just watching it. However, my husband deals with serious issues all day long. Many times he comes home exhausted and drained. So sometimes he just needs to relax and quite frankly, watch a stupid show. I fail, but I do my best to not complain. I sit by him, hold his hand, and patiently wait for those “scientist” to finally find a Sasquatch. Hopefully before too long they will so we can move on to something else. Perhaps watching “Finding Bigfoot” is not an issue for you. But I am sure that your husband enjoys activities that you don’t care for. Maybe it is fishing, playing golf, watching football. Do it with him on occasion. He’ll love you for it!

Write love notes or send sweet texts.

Taking the time to express your love to your husband is a great way to respect him. Tell him you appreciate all the hard work he does. Let him know that he is special to you. Tell him you are thinking of him. And on occasion, send a quick text to brighten up his day and make him look forward to coming home. Just be sure and send it to the right person!

Be understanding when he is late for dinner.

It happens. Sometimes it can’t be helped. Traffic is terrible or something unexpected comes up. And…..sometimes it can be helped. Either way, when we are forgiving with an understanding attitude it shows that we respect him. The golden rule found in Matthew 7:12 is a good guide for a happy marriage.

Iron his placket.

I often tell my husband that my love for him is like the laundry – It’s never-ending! It seems as though I iron all the time. And the plackets on his dress shirts always give me fits! But, it’s the little things I do that shows my husband respect. So if ironed plackets can accomplish that, so be it! What little thing can you do to show your husband that you care?

Speak highly of him in front of others.

“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.”Proverbs 31:11a. There is no better way to gain your husband’s trust and show respect than to praise him in front of others. Has he fixed the car? Does he take care of you when you’re sick? Does he bring you flowers? Does he work hard to provide for your family? Is he a good daddy? Honor him with your words. Death and life are in the power of the tongue and genuine words of appreciation will bring life to any marriage.

Argue with him in private.

No marriage is without arguments. You will not always agree with our husband, but you do not have to adamantly disagree in front of others, especially your children. If you disagree voice then your opinion in an honoring way, if the disagreement cannot be lovingly and respectfully resolved then work it out in private. Then you can come together, unified in front of the children.

So there you have it. Part One of 14 Ways to Show Respect to Your Husband on Valentine’s Day. Be watching tomorrow for part two.

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life,” Proverbs 31:10-12.

Building a Godly Marriage

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building houseI was reading this morning in Proverbs about the wise woman. I desire for my life to exude wisdom, no doubt every Christian woman does, so when I came across this verse it immediately caught my attention. “Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands,” Proverbs 14:1. Often in scripture parallels are drawn between the family and a house. Psalm 127 is a great example. The first verse says, “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.” Reading the chapter in context we easily see that the passage is speaking of the family. The following Psalm gives another example of the blessed man and his house. “Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table,” Psalm 128:3. So, a wise woman builds her house, or we could say that she builds her family. But a foolish woman plucks it down.

A person does not have to know a lot about buildings, or even understand all the concepts behind construction, to know the most important aspect. If you want to build a structure that will last, it has to be built on a solid foundation. The only foundation solid enough to build a lasting marriage is Christ. As the old hymn goes, “all other ground is sinking sand”. Jesus Christ is the foundation of the Christian home. My husband and I have counseled with many Christian families who are falling apart. They might appear to be healthy and striving as a family, but it is just a façade. They have the foundation of Christ in their home, but they are building a weak, unsecured structure upon that foundation. Our enemy, the great deceiver, is seeking to destroy Christian families. If Christ is truly the foundation of the home, we rest in the peace that the foundation cannot be destroyed. The enemy knows this, but it does not keep him from seeking to destroy the framework of the home.

The framework of the Christian home is the marriage. Think about what happens when Christian marriages are destroyed. The home is shattered, churches are weakened, testimonies are lost, and the enemy is victorious when this happens. This is because the biblical marriage on earth is a picture to the world of the perfect heavenly marriage. We find this truth in Ephesians 5:22-32.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

When Christian marriages operate in an unbiblical fashion, they portray to the world a distorted and false view of Christ and His bride. I recognize that most couples do not think about their marriage in this light. Too many times they are so busy focusing on themselves for their testimony to the world to even be considered. But bearing in mind the current state of marriage within the Christian community, it’s high time that Christian people start thinking about these things. What is your marriage saying to those around you? As children of God, does your marriage reflect the power of God in your life? When the unsaved world looks at your marriage are they drawn to God and His glorious truths?

A wise woman will build her house. She starts with the correct foundation and builds a godly marriage from there. But a wife cannot do it alone. It will take work and commitment from both husband and wife. This is why God commands His children to “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers,” 2 Corinthians 6:14a. It is imperative for a godly marriage. The picture is that through marriage my husband and I are yoked together or as Christ stated we are no longer two but one flesh. “(Jesus) said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder,” Matthew 19:5-6.

To pluck down or destroy my house would be to destroy myself, and that certainly would not be wise!

Exhorting One Another

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“Listen to this,” I told my son, “according to this study 88% of children raised in evangelical Christian homes will leave the church by the age of 18.”

What do you think?”  I asked.  “Do you think you will ever be a part of this 88%?”

My son turns 16 next week.  He is just a few years shy of this age.  So I genuinely wanted to know his thoughts on the subject.

“I don’t know, Mom” he replied.  “But I do know that if I ever did get out of church that I would have you and Dad and my church family there to exhort, admonish, and encourage me to come back.”

I explained to my son that none of us are above falling into sin, or are we immune from straying from the fellowship.  But I assured him that should that happen in his life that he would always be loved and prayed for.

It was comforting to know that my teenage son had a clear understanding of part of the ministry of the local fellowship.  He understood that if he were to stray from God (and then the church as a result) that his brothers and sisters in Christ would be there to hold him accountable.

Regardless of what some will say today, exhortation is a biblical principle.

“Therefore I thought it necessary to exhort the brethren…” (2Co 9:5)

 “Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more.” (1Th 4:1)

 “Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.” (1Th 5:14)

 “Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.” (2Ti 4:2)

 “These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.” (Tit 2:15)

 It is detrimental to a person’s spiritual growth to be removed from the fellowship of the local church.  Yet, many enthusiastically walk away.  When this happens in a young person’s life and they fall into sin, it’s good to know that their parents will always be there.  But how much more powerful is it knowing that a whole group of others who love you is there as well – bearing your burdens, lifting you up in prayer, holding you accountable, admonishing you when you sin, and rebuking you in love.

A church that truly loves each other will exhort one another.  We do it because we love.  We do it because it pleases God.  We do it because if we don’t, sin will harden our hearts.

 “But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.” (Heb 3:13)